To Be Nice...Or Not To Be

With all of the information coming out about the shooter in Dallas along with everyone's opinions on whose lives matter, I can't help but make a few comments regarding the matter, or the other shootings  or acts of terror that we have heard about in detail over the past several years.

Perhaps it is my professional training and experience or even my spiritual and religious beliefs, I can't help but feel sad about what happened in Dallas. I will try to explain why this is on my mind.

I was raised in a home where my father was an Officer of the Law. Yes, his last name is Law and he was an Officer, as well. I see the irony...but, I digress. My dad did not bring his work home with him when I lived there. I knew he was a Cop. I knew what he did, but I did not know what dangers there were. He kept us protected from them. I knew there were problems in the cities where we lived and where he worked. However, he did not talk about them. I'm not saying we didn't know about them, he just assured us that all was well. He did not return home with stories that had cynical undertones about people who committed crimes. There was no talk about racial stereotyping, about religious stereotyping, or really anything of that matter. In fact, the one resounding rule he had for us regarding everybody was "Just Be Nice." He would remind us when we were upset with each other or others, including people who didn't like us for our religion (this happened more than once), our hair color (I was a redhead as a child and was called a "dirty little redhead"), or even bullies, he constantly reminded us to "Just Be Nice." I'm not saying that he was telling us to lie down and just take it. Because, there were times when we needed to fight our own battles. Even then, after it was all said and done, he instructed us to "Just Be Nice." That's it!

Now, to say how this applies to the shootings and acts of terror. At the end of the day, these violent acts can be reduced to simple things. Fear, anger, and hate. Those geeks out there know exactly what I'm talking about when I say Master Yoda taught "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering..." These things are all part of the dark side. It is consuming. It is addicting. It feels good to be angry, because we feel powerful, strong, and justified in our actions. Fear, anger, and hate are primal and are built into our midbrain, the powerful part of our brain that controls the fight, flight, and freeze responses. When that wakes up, reason disappears. Our prefrontal cortex becomes dormant and Amen to reason and logic!

Now, what does this have to do with the prior paragraph about my dad's rule? Giving in to fear, anger, and hate is easy. Just being nice is hard. It's never easy to be nice to someone who hurts you, whether they did it purposely or not. Being nice will always be the most difficult thing to do unless you make it a habit. Habits are behaviors that come naturally with practice and persistence. It requires choice, which requires your prefrontal cortex to be engaged. That means, learning to control and/or manage fear, anger, and hate. Those three emotions come in many forms, though. Each individual has to be aware of what form they take within themselves AND  how they express it AND how it affects others (I personally believe we are accountable for that). Once again, this requires work and in some cases, HARD WORK! Some of us have past experiences or even personality traits that may predispose us to being afraid, fearful, or even angry. That just means that life has given us some things that we can work on. That doesn't mean that the person is bad or good...it just means that they have some hard work. However, results do come with hard work.

That's all for today.

Jamison

Negative Psychology? Or Is It Focusing on People?

A few nights ago, I was up until a far too late hour with a sibling discussing various topics regarding mental health, addiction, trauma, etc. As can happen, I found myself going into a monologue about the subjects. This happens due to a passion that I have for them. Over the years I’ve had opportunities to attend trainings and supervision on various subjects. What I find fascinating is when two seemingly unrelated subjects or ideas come together in a correlational fashion. Therefore, I was discussing these types of experiences with him. As we continued our discussion, I did not find myself enlightened by the topic as I had heretofore experienced; but, rather, I found myself becoming saddened and despondent. I remember the moment when I was aware of my mood change when I had finished talking about the effects of pornography and other addictions on the brain and my brother asked, “Is it possible for the effects to be reversed? Or for the person to experience some kind of full recovery?” At that point was when I had realized that I had backed myself in a corner. I had been focusing on the psychological research that I had studied, which is very negative. In fact, that is one of the complaints of the psychology field is that it can be negatively focused, which is why Positive Psychology became a movement. We finished the conversation and I went to bed. The next morning I was still feeling despondent. I meditated on the “why” of my mood and realized that I had, once again, focused so heavily on the research that I forgot about the human aspect of this field. The study of people does not take into account the people as it looks for correlations in variables. Now, I’m not saying that research does not carry importance, as research is highly beneficial, but the people no longer become the focus as the variables and how they interact with other variables carry more weight. But, I digress. 

As I was reflecting on what we had discussed and the sense of sadness it brought due to the negative results of mental health problems I had a very strong impression come to my mind. It was simply put “What are you going to do about it, Jamison?” At that moment, the sense of hopelessness disappeared and I experienced a feeling of empowerment and I asked myself the question, “what can I do about it?” The answer, then, was simple. I can keep trying. I can keep trying to work with people to help them see that despite their struggles, traumas, addictions, disorders, negative experiences in all of their forms that they have inherent value just by virtue of being alive and being a member of the human family. Is that not what counseling is about? Our clients struggle with various maladies of the human experience which bring them to question their value. We call these struggles disorders as a means to classify and measure. But, at the end of the day, do we not all have moments of depression, anxiousness, traumas, addiction, behavioral outbursts, etc.? Therefore, what I can do is engage anxiously in a positive cause to try to help where I am able and hope that my interaction and interventions will result in an increase of self-awareness. I can provide treatments that are intentional and purposeful that help give others an idea of the direction they hope to go that they might liberate themselves from “disorders” with which they are plagued. And, maybe, along the way I too can learn more about myself, have more self-awareness, and learn (piece by piece) of my own value as a member of the human family.

A Brief Spiritual Reminder

For a short time I had the privilege of working as the director of a 12 step-based inpatient facility with clients who were in substance dependence recovery. I had never worked with the 12 steps before as I had been inundated with Cognitive Behavioral Methods for several years. What attracted me to working at this facility was the idea that I could combine a spiritual-based approach with trauma-focused treatment. The prior director had begun developing a trauma-focused spiritually-based approach for recovery. It was fascinating! What I found to be very helpful for clients was the following:

1. Client needed to learn to give up control and surrender themselves to a Higher Power. It didn't matter what their idea of a Higher Power was, either. This could result in a state of humility (i.e. teachability) and trust (in their Higher Power, the facility, the other clients, and the clinical/administrative staff). It was a fascinating process to see clients with severe problems, typically co-morbid disorders, to begin to progress and recover.

2. Clients focused on the 12 step process and were required to go through the steps in order to complete treatment. This forced them to focus on others rather than themselves. It's amazing what happens to people when they forget themselves and work to help others.

3. The trauma-focused portion involved multiple methods such as Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing; Ego-state-based therapy; Trauma-focused CBT; Mindfulness Meditation and more. The goal was to help a client recover from the trauma they had experienced which ranged from childhood abuse in all of its forms, domestic violence, rape, neglect, etc.

What I most enjoyed was the sense of peace that a client could experience, as well as the staff, in knowing that a Higher Power was in charge of their lives and that they could ultimately put their trust in a Being or Idea that was greater than themselves.

Just food for thought!

Dr. Jamison Law

Disney, Service, Compassion, and other things...

It’s amazing what you learn from the people you are trying to serve. You may approach a task with the idea, like most, that you are an expert at the task, and that you might know best. However, the point of serving is to exercise an empathetic eye and ear to those who are receiving your services. This thought has come to my mind as I have been reading “How to Be Like Walt.” I already wrote a small blarticle (blog+article) about this book, but the further I delve into the author’s information and humor about Walt Disney, the more I see the innovation behind Disney’s approaches to business and human beings. First, the author indicated that Disney was never trying to make money. He loved what he did, he believed in it, and it required money to do it; therefore, it was only a means to an end. We all know who Walt Disney was, and we know that he was no slouch when it came to money, as well. Then, why do we seek after money in trying to serve? It doesn’t make sense. I’ve tried it and I was miserable. I tried it the way others said to do it; the way the universities told me I had to do it; and the way that the “experts” said. I wonder if it is the incorrect way, though. Therefore, these are just my thoughts on some observations I’ve been thinking about. I began my career path as a mental health counselor about 12 years ago. I had spent two years as a volunteer for my church in another country where I served others. My parents paid my way for the experience and I worked hard. During that time, I found that I enjoyed working with people, getting to know them, learning from them, and teaching them. Therefore, when I returned back to the States, I decided to pursue a service-oriented career. I talked at times with my dad and others about opening up a ranch for at-risk youth. The focused activities would include learning how to care for and ride horses, as well as do cattle drives. Other activities would include care for their camp and cabins as an attempt to instill a desire to work hard and to find the joy that work can bring. Alas, it did not happen, but it was the beginning of my pursuits. Now, I have been working as a clinical director for a residential treatment facility for addictions for the past year. It was a great career move and I have spent the past 12 months learning, a lot. During my time there I began doing exit interviews with residents during their last day of treatment. I would ask them a few questions at first, but then narrowed it to one: “If you returned here a year from now, what would you like to see change and what would you like to see remain the same.” Almost always, and I don’t exaggerate this, they would say that they do not want the atmosphere and environment to change. They said that the front-line staff and the therapist staff members worked well together. They treated each other as equals. Most importantly, they felt the compassion that the staff members have for them and the other residents. They felt welcome and a part of a community. They felt on equal ground with the other residents, the line staff, the therapists, the administrators, etc. The residents said that the therapy was good (whatever that means) and that they learned a lot, but the emphasis was on equality and compassion. It makes me wonder if that is a catalyst for change. Is it possible that having compassion for your fellow man is a huge piece of successful change? My guess is yes. There is plenty of evidence to demonstrate such whether its from Christian texts, Buddhist beliefs, or psychological texts by Carl Rogers. Therefore, I would make a few suggestions to those who are in the service-oriented field. 1. Get to know your clients on an individual basis (by clients I mean anyone you serve whether you are a therapist, scout leader, parent, parishioner, or music teacher). 2. Do not be afraid to be human with your clients. Many people see us (therapists, etc.) as being an expert, and therefore, there is a power differential, which can lead to defenses and resistance in clients or ourselves. Don’t forget that you eat, sleep, and that your heart pumps red blood just as your clients. Be a vulnerable human. For more information on vulnerability, see http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html 3. Holistic approaches: Not every client is the same. Be open and willing to help the client from their viewpoint, not yours. At times, yours may have to be the voice of the expert, but most people are an expert at their own lives. If you don’t know how to help a person, ask someone who does. You don’t know everything and you’re not supposed to. Be bendable and ethical. 4. Watch for patterns of behaviors that are indicators of your clients’ needs. They will show you what they need if you just pay attention. 5. Be equal with the people you serve. 6. Have fun with your service. If you don’t know how to live after the manner of happiness, it is hard for others to want to follow you. A. Bandura indicated that people need social models to follow at times. Social models are people with similarities of a others that provide a model or likeness that others can follow. These are just my ideas for now. Until next time.

Dracula is and Addict!

The following link has a creative and innovative adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula as a metaphorical description of alcoholism and drug addiction. I thought that it was a definite "thinking out of the box" description that may have information beneficial to some of our clients. http://robertchapman.blogspot.com/ Jamison

Mental Health Change: The Knight in Rusty Armor

"The Knight in Rusty Armor" is a metaphorical story about change and the simplicity and complexity of it. I know that sounds dissonant, because it is. The main character is a Knight who spends his days fighting dragons, rescuing damsels in distress, and buying castles for his wife and son. He dons himself with the shiniest and strongest armor money can buy. He likes it so much he never takes it off. Eventually, he leaves it on for so long that his own child doesn't know what he looks like, his wife misses seeing him, and he is afraid to take it off. When he decides to remove the armor, he finds that it cannot be removed. Therefore, he goes on a journey to find Merlin the Magician who teaches him how to remove it which requires him to go on a quest. It's a fun book about change and the difficulties and simplicity of it. I recommend all to read it.

Jamison

Expressions of Addiction in Art

I am no art connoisseur. However, a few years ago my wife tied me to a chair and duct-taped my eyes open forcing me to watch "So You Think You Can Dance." Humiliated, I succumbed to watching and found myself moved by a dance (see the link below) that described addiction. I was blown away at how the dance described through movements and music the experiences my current clients go through. Watch it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FlkY5F85Lc&feature=fvwrel

Addictions, ADD, Mental Health, and the DSM V Concerns

I read an article by the Huffington Post this morning that discusses the problems with diagnosing using the DSM, over-diagnosis of many disorders such as ADHD, bipolar disorder, depression, etc. and the overuse of psychotropic medications. The article is written by a psychiatrist who was on the task force for the development of the DSM-IV. He reports that diagnosis is often done by general practitioners, rather than psychiatrists who may have insufficient training in mental health diagnostics and treatment. Furthermore, he reports that the the upcoming DSM V may cause an increase in similar aforementioned problems. It is an interesting read that also includes the difficulties in studying the human brain and bridging the gap between psychology and neurology. The link below will take you to the article. Enjoy!

Jamison D. Law, LPC, NCC

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allen-frances/america-is-over-diagnosed_b_1157898.html

"Richard...Is There A Mark On My Face? It Hurts."

The title of this article may or may not have anything to do with the article, but I liked it. It comes from a scene in the movie "Tommy Boy" after David Spade hits Chris Farley in the face with a 2X4. The clincher is that they are friends, or at least trying to be friends and they get in a fight. How often do we do similar things?
I am not saying that we get hit in the face by others, at least I hope that does not happen. Rather, we invest our time, energy, and emotions into a relationship and get the proverbial slap in the face...or we get burned. These very situations came to mind recently when a friend approached me and asked for my thoughts on professional burnout. Burnout is a mental state of exhaustion and can be observed by "emotional depletion and a loss of motivation and commitment" and are usually associated with job factors rather than biological reasons" (Schaufeli, DATE, p. 7). It leads to physical symptoms (fatigue, muscle tension, G.I. distress, etc.), absenteeism, and job turnover. It can also be affected by a lack of social support in the work place. It happens due to job stress that exceeds an individual's resources. It results ultimately in the professional demonstrating behaviors of cynicism, apathy, and rigidity in the workplace. Overall, it affects the professional's capacity to function, especially in the helping profession.
It is a tiring place to be. My friend described his situation and it sounded similar to the definitions above. I can relate as I have experienced "burnout" or "compassion fatigue" as they now call it. Trust in human beings is depleted, you question your own self-worth, etc. But, rather than go into a slow spiral into the abyss of burnout, I'd rather talk about how to work through it.
By definition, it relates to stress and one's own personal resources. Therefore, it stands to say that if the resources were not sufficient or failed, then they need to be looked at. It may require a break from the career field, if possible, the professional will need to seek their own help (i.e. counseling). One has to make self-care the priority, rather than work. Activities, recreation, reading a good book, exercise, setting goals and completing them, and many more are just some examples. I know with myself, I have had to rely on others for a time to pull out of the burnout. I have had to take a good look at my own belief system regarding my role as a professional, a father, a husband, a friend, etc. and see what beliefs were adding to the burnout. The results can be liberating, but the climb out is uncomfortable, yet possible. It is easy to get stuck in it and become a victim of it, but relying on a Higher Power (to use the AA verbage) or God can result in fostering a sense of hope. Most importantly, relying on close family and friends as a resource can be the difference between success and continued burnout.

I hope this helps!

Jamison

The above reference comes from:
http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=4kEbMr8B4NMC&oi=fnd&pg=PR11&dq=professional+burnout&ots=edQawU-et5&sig=Vmin7zc_uhf8YazlTJOvEWX69IM#v=onepage&q&f=false