Help! My Teeth Are Falling Out!!!!

Dream Analysis

Teeth falling out...
Feeling like you're back in school and you're naked and you can't find your clothes...
A shadow or someone following you that hides in the shadows...
Apocalyptic and violent dreams...

These are common themes that we hear about in nightmares or dreams. Naturally, clients will tell me about their dreams, and not the happy fluffy ones where they fly around the world like Superman or are otherwise a hero. Typically, as counselors we hear the dreams that cause discomfort or fear. Some of them may be reoccurring. Some people want to understand them. Others even want to control them. Though I'm not a dream expert and don't analyze dreams from a particular theoretical model such as Gestalt therapy (i.e. "step into the dream or become the dream"), I have found that dreams can be easily understood, especially when they are of the nightmarish quality. Therefore, I'll give a brief explanation in this short article.

1. Examine the dream for its process first, NOT its content.

Many of us look at the dream for their exact content and try to find hidden meanings or revelatory information. Rather than that, look at the process of it. What does the dream feel like? What emotions are going on? What are the five senses that are experienced? Put aside the loose teeth and the school nakedness and look at the dream's emotional processes. There, you may begin to find commonalities such as feelings of shame, worthlessness, fear of the unknown, fear of vulnerability, etc. Write those emotions down as you review the emotional process. For example, a dream of the apocalypse is not likely a foreshadowing of doom and destruction. It actually can be a representation of fear of the unknown or fear of being harmed by the unknown.

2. Review your current life and what is going on and compare it to the dream emotional processes.

Let's face it, though life is good it has its downs. During those times we tend to fall into feelings of worthlessness, fear, anxiousness, depression, etc. This is a normal process and doesn't necessarily mean that something is terribly wrong. Sometimes, our dreams can be a reflection of our thinking and emotional processes. Sometimes, the dreams can teach us that "hey, you're not feeling okay right now!" You may already know that, but some of us do our best to ignore it. In this case, the dream is just trying to process your subconscious thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, our mind tries to figure things out for us or to bring subconscious concerns to our awareness for us to figure out. Nightmares may not mean that there is something wrong. It may just mean that you are human and have some work to do.

As you review your current life circumstances and compare them to the dream process, make sure to write them down or even say them out loud. This helps to make it real and can even decrease the anxiousness or fear surrounding it.

3. Ask yourself, "What can I do about it?"

If you learn that there are things that need to be worked on, make goals and follow through with them. If it's something you can't do yourself, ask for help! There's no shame in it. We're here to lift and buoy one another up.

In the case of severe nightmares that come about from trauma...it may require professional help. If that is the case and you're looking for help, the database on www.psychologytoday.com is great! You can find a local compassionate professional to help you through it.

That's all for today.

Dr Law

Psychodynamic Therapy, Narcissism and Shame

I have been slowly reading a book on Skills of Psychodynamic Counseling. Psychodynamic counseling theories and methods stem originally from Freudian Psychoanalysis; however there are some inherent differences. The book is interesting as it focuses on the foundations of the theory. One really great quote about this style of therapy is "Psychodynamic therapy involves the interaction of two minds which influence each other both consciously and unconsciously" (Howard, 2010, p. 15). The book talks about the therapeutic alliance being important to the method, just as it is in other methods such as Person-Centered Therapy. The difference is, that it indicates that there are two relationships occurring simultaneously. The first is the relationship between the counselor and client as adults. The counselor honors the client for coming to them and provides an environment where trust can be encouraged and fostered. The second is the subconscious relationship which involves the counselor as an adult and in a position of authority and the client's subconscious, which can be likened unto a child. In order for the client to have a positive counseling experience and to process childhood subconscious issues, the adult-adult relationship must be well-established. Where narcissism and shame come into play has to do with the relationship. A client who comes to me may have feelings of shame due to the fact that they have not been able to deal with their problems on their own. This can result in a hurt ego, and narcissism itself, is damage to the ego which resulted in shame; then, the ego overcompensates for the shame by inflating itself and becoming grandiose. Therefore, in order to heal, the issues of shame must be addressed at a child-like level which cannot happen unless the first relationship is established. I find these ideas fascinating and wonder how often we try to exert power over others due to our positions of authority and how it affects their own childlike egos. Just some food for thought. Dr. Jamison Law Howard, S. (2010). Skills in psychodynamic counselling & psychotherapy. California: Sage Publications, Inc.

Hello Subconscious! Pull Up A Chair and Let's Have a Chat!

The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes the subconscious as "existing in the mind, but not immediately available to the conscious." Sigmund Freud used the term subconscious and unconscious interchangeably, though he meant it to be the part of our mind that we're not aware of. At times, I have described it as the part of our mind that is running everything in the background. It may be made up of our personal experiences, our culture, our perceptions of the world around us, our emotions at times, and many more things. It may include even the parts of our environment that we are not paying attention to (i.e. sounds, smells, etc.). I wonder at times what would happen if our subconscious was able to slip fully into our conscious. What might we be aware of? I imagine sitting with a client who is comfortably on my office couch (as comfortable as it could be--it's kind of worn-out). I tell them that in order to proceed with therapy, we must look into their subconscious and that I have invented a machine that can open it up like a computer file and project it all onto a screen in front of them. The purpose is to discover everything about them that they cannot remember and the things that they might not even want to know; and that by opening everything up, they can learn to accept and/or reject things about their beliefs, culture, values, cognitive processes, emotional responses, and behaviors that do not fit into the person they wish they were, or think they are. Therefore, after receiving their written consent and reviewing the possible discomforts they might encounter (of course, I use an informed consent as I am an ethical clinician), I press the tell-tale button on my desk and there is a whirring sound that slowly crescendoes as the machine (use your imagination) begins to open up their mind and project it onto the screen. The machine interprets the subconscious and separates the scenes and words into subtypes so that the screen shoes a series of files. They might be separated into childhood stages (this is psychology after all), ages, or maybe even into emotional responses such as "happy memories," "shame-based memories" or something along those lines. At first the client might want to review memories he/she doesn't remember. The images might be of early infancy and childhood. Those memories that very few of us have due to a lack of awareness, or whatever reason our minds don't hold on to them. Many of these memories might come out as a "Aaaawww, that is cute" or "Wow, I didn't know that happened." Some memories might bring up positive emotions and others might bring on feelings of shame. After a few minutes of nostalgic reflection, it's time to do some work. I might say to the client, "Well, it looks like the technology is in-sync with your neural net (sounds Star Trek-like, doesn't it?), we can proceed with the reason you came to counseling." I then review the things the client said in the intake interview, which usually aren't happy. I mean, who hires a therapist when life is going great? Let's say that this client had one or several difficult experiences that they cannot get out of their mind, or that replay over and over in their dreams, when they're awake, or they replay them behaviorally. They can't quite figure out why, either. So, I ask the client, "If we could classify all of these things you're struggling with, what work or set of words would you use to describe them?" The client takes a moment and responds "Ashamed" or "Weak" or "Scared." Again, these are just words, but they mean something to him/her. So, I review the files and pull up all information on those words along with any associations. I then say, "Well, if you'll remember, we already went over how to breathe and calm your emotions when they feel too strong. We will use those, now. We will move at your pace. Are you ready?" The client pauses and responds that he/she is. "Okay, here we go." At this point, I am not going to impose my ideas on how it would go, necessarily. I can't predict with perfect accuracy and experience with clients has demonstrated that my predictions can be wrong. The reader's guess is as good as mine that the emotional response will not be one of comfort and warmth. However, at the end of the review, I would then say to the client that we are not quite done, yet. I would tell them that they did great and commend them for their courage. Then, I would say that we had only reviewed the memories, but that the subconscious part of him/her was not present. I would open then point to a toggle on the underside of my desk and explain that when I flip the toggle, their subconscious will appear and tell them what all of the memories mean. What the client believes the memories say about themselves. How it affects their worldview, and how it has affected their belief in their own value and self-worth. Personally, I think this is the scariest part, and yet the most important. The memories may be painful, but it's how they changed the person that results in continued pain. Again, with their permission, I flip the toggle and there is the sound of static (or maybe the sound that the Transporter makes on The Starship Enterprise--I don't know), and seated next to them appears their subconscious. At first, it is somewhat surprising. Maybe the subconscious looks just like the client, or maybe not. Maybe it takes the appearance of a wise old Chinese Man sitting lotus style. I can only guess. At that point, the client and subconscious begin to talk and the subconscious speaks to him/her about the "truth" they believe in as a result of their bad experiences--maybe even about the client's own decisions/choices that were affected by the bad experiences. Everything is laid open and naked in its raw and primal form. My guess is that there would be some tears. There might even be some yelling. Denial might occur along with depression, anger, bargaining and finally acceptance. At the end of it, I wonder if the client would feel exhausted, but at peace. Of course, this is just my ramblings while sitting in my office. However, I wonder how we might respond if our subconscious sat down for a while. Would we accept it, or reject it? You can decide, I suppose.