Back In The Saddle...

I took a brief hiatus from writing anything recently. I am getting back in the saddle for my one or two readers out there. Recently, a close family member educated me on a few short phrases that help with obsessive thinking. When there are plaguing worries ask yourself "Is it possible? Is it probable? Is it likely?" And then let the worries run along those lines. It seems to help a bit.

Psychology of Preparedness--Article 2: Dealing With Change

Most of us have heard the adage that the only constant in life is change. It happens every day personally, socially, nationally and more. Most of us, however, do not adjust well to change, whether positive or negative. That has nothing to do with our character, but more with our personalities and how we were raised. I’m going to give a few pointers on how to deal with change and adjust to it.
As with any difficulty that someone may have, I would suggest that you train yourself to become aware of your own response to change. Think of what it may have been like for you if you recently moved, had a child, lost someone important to you, lost a job, lost a home or valued possession, etc. Bring to your remembrance your emotions, thoughts, and even physical problems that surfaced after the change. Did you feel anxiety, sadness, or did you feel numb from your emotions? Did you find yourself feeling sick, experiencing headaches, neck or back pain? Did you start having thoughts of self-doubt, doubting others, doubting your faith? Did your sleeping patterns or appetite change? It’s important to know (for the sake of knowledge, not to judge yourself or the situation) how you responded or reacted. These reactions are indicators of what your body and mind are doing in response to the change. There are techniques and therapeutic methods that can be used to decrease these responses and help as a future prevention, however, that will not be discussed in this article.
Once you are aware of your reactions, then you can look at the actual change itself. What happened and which parts of change did you have direct control or power over? What part of the change can you influence? Most of the time, we do not have power over the actual event of change. At that point, we have to train ourselves to give up our attempt at trying to control the uncontrollable. We can do that by falling back on our foundation (see article 1) and focusing on what we have power over. The truth is, we have power over ourselves, only. There is very little that we can control in this world. That does not render us powerless. We can control ourselves, learn from the past, and prepare for the future. We can only do our best, and our best will change from day to day.
If you have further interest on change, review my blog site http://lawdawgsmentalhealth.blogspot.com/ for more information.

Psychology of Preparedness

This topic will include several articles that address current concerns regarding the emotional and mental state of people in regards to the current economy. It will be a definite work in progress. Check back for more information as time goes on. If you have specific requests, put them in the comments section and I will research and write what is needed.

Part I—Safety Needs Are Paramount

The news, whether TV or internet can appear daunting and foreboding with the economic crisis, wars, and other global problems. We learn about the financial industry, the struggling domestic car industry and the government proposals to bail them out. It certainly can raise concerns about individual and business rights and responsibilities, as well as possible constitutional compromises. Such news, I have witnessed, increases anxieties, can induce a sense of future hopelessness, and on the extremes, cause paranoia and zealotous activities. The paramount idea of being prepared for what is going on and what could vs what will happen is safety.
Being prepared is a level of establishing safety for yourself and your family. Abraham Maslow presented a theory of basic needs requisite for human development and enjoyment. In order of importance, those needs are: 1) Physiological, 2) Safety, 3) Love/Belonging, 4) Esteem, and 5) Self-actualization. Self –actualization being the final stage means fulfillment in your life’s pursuits or purpose, which is individual and personal. It cannot be met without the others being met first. In preparing yourself and family, first and foremost prepare for your physiological needs (thus, the purpose of this website). Those physical needs are as follows: breathing, water, food, shelter, warmth, protection from the elements, sleep, sex (believe it or not), homeostasis (a sense of stability and predictability), excretion, physical health, etc. Much of this blog focuses on procedures, ideas, and suggestions to meet these needs. Once physical needs are met, safety is important. Safety is an umbrella term that describes many levels of needs. Those safety needs can include (though this list is not exhaustive) emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs. If your physiological needs are being met, then many of the physical safety needs will inadvertently be met as well. However, what do you do with a sense of impending doom, anxiety, hopelessness, etc.? Well, first and foremost I would recommend (as I do to clients) evaluating your core beliefs and values. What kind of foundation of values, beliefs, standards, spirituality, etc. do you base your life on? Whether religious or not (in Utah we all know what the main religion is), everyone has beliefs. Even atheists have beliefs. What you need to do is see if those beliefs help you maintain a sense of emotional and mental safety. If they don’t, then you haven’t gone deep enough to discover what the unshakeable truths are upon which you build everything. If they are shakable, I would recommend figuring something else out that will not be shaken even WTSHTF! Foundation is the key to your sense of safety. Next, is your emotional and mental safety. Often, if your sense of physical and spiritual safety is well established, the mental and emotional safety will automatically follow suit. However, other things help. Ask yourself these questions: Am I a pessimist or an optimist? Do I call pessimism being a realist? What is the first thing I notice in a situation? Is it the negative or the positive? Do I hold on to grudges or do I forgive easily? Do I complain a lot? Do I focus on the fears of what can happen, or do I look at it as a possibility rather than inevitability? Do I stay awake at night worrying about things over which I have no power or control? Do I really have enough information or knowledge of the issues I worry about to merit the time and effort of worrying? The questions could truly go on and on. The point is ask yourself honest and revealing questions to evaluate what kind of anxiety you are creating yourself. If you find yourself worrying about current news, trends, or rumors, I recommend educating yourself from “reliable sources” to learn what you can. If there is truly disturbing news, which is possible, remember what your foundation is and fall back on that. Realize, also, that many of the current issues in the world are not influenced by your day-to-day choices, but by others who may or may not be good or wholesome people. The best we can do is be well-informed and educated and vote for who we can when that time comes. If someone is voted or called into office that you do not agree with, what more can you personally do to change the situation? Most likely, nothing. Remember your foundation and ALWAYS fall back on that. Men and women aren’t in office forever, whether good or bad. Learn to let go of things that you can’t change or control. You have better things to do with your time.
Remember that in these times we are not by ourselves. There are many out there just as concerned as you are. Be proactive in seeking them out. Most of them are probably your neighbors. Be positive in your discussions and avoid the negative “what-if’s.” Always fall back on your foundation to maintain your sense of safety and prepare what you can with your physical needs.

To be continued…

Light and Dark

I had an interesting conversation with a young child the other day. Like most individuals at the clinic, this person had suffered a horrendous type of trauma. And like most, experiences life and their emotions as something dark and foreboding. We talked about light vs. darkness in order to find meaning and healing to the traumatic pain. I explained what darkness is, first. Darkness is not actually a thing, but rather a nothingness. It is what inevitably happens when there is an absence of light. Light, actually has a substance to it though possibly not mathematically measurable, but substance, nonetheless. When light is introduced into a dark space (space meaning an area where there is no light), then darkness is no longer there. Light takes up the space. We then compared it to the emotions that she experiences due to the trauma and how at times they feel dark and empty. I suggested to her that it may be that those "spaces" in her that have darkness and emptiness need to be filled up with something that is light. Something with substance, as light will dispel the darkness. We came up with a list (while doing art therapy) of things that are "light" to her. Light had to be defined as something (people, activities, etc.) that bring her joy and light. We talked about how light makes her feel. What does it feel like when you are frightened in the dark and a candle is lit, or a light is turned on? What does it feel like emotionally and physically? It is important to incorporate all senses. I am finding more and more that incorporating "light" (not just physical) into therapy is helpful as many depressed, anxious, and traumatized individual have a hard time experiencing light.

Good Therapist and Good Client

There is something to be said about having a therapist who is well-versed in therapeutic inteventions and methods. You can have a therapist who is intelligent, emapathic, compassionate, etc...but, what about the client? Should a client also be a good client? I think so. What would that entail? Definitely someone who wants to be there. Someone who has the desire to change and that does not fight the therapist. Someone also who has a mind of their own and is willing to explore themselves and become more aware of their behaviors. That's my opinion.

Different Types of Trauma? It could be...

Abuse in its different forms can be identified as trauma caused by one person to another. Other traumas, such as those sustained from injury, war, accidents, etc. are also traumas NOT CAUSED by the victim. However, it appears that there are traumas that are self-inflicted. Some individuals, due to different issues or personality types or situations appear to inadvertently invite trauma. Such self-inflicted or invited trauma appears to be even more complex than others. Those kinds of traumas appear to result in a level of shame, guilt, and sometimes denial. Thus, those issues need to be addressed before the actual trauma can be resolved. Something to think about.

Complex Trauma

Working in the trauma field for nearly three years has taught me the complexities of the human experience. Many clients who come into the clinic not only have experienced severe trauma, but they have identified with it, made it part of their personality and identity, been a direct contributor to the trauma thus being responsible for the trauma itself, or they stay in denial of the trauma to avoid guilt, shame, and responsibility. What makes the situation complex is that there are many layers to the trauma. There is the actual traumatic event(s), the person's interpretation of the events, the person's sense of identity with the trauma, the sense of responsibility, the guilt/shame involved with the trauma, the relationship with the trauma (i.e. if it was caused by a familiar person or situation). Therefore, there is no cookie cutter way to get to the trauma core and resolve everything all at once. There is too much to each individual to take into account every aspect to the trauma experience. The treatment then requires an eclectic and pragmatic approach. Many times, reality therapy is required in order to aid the client to come to grips with what truly happened and normalizing the effects. Some remain in consistent denial and avoid the truth or even lie to themselves or others. Some may even be directly involved with the trauma and responsible for it happened in one form or another. Such a situation is even more complex due to the underlying guilt and shame. If there are negative coping skills used to avoid the feelings of guilt and responsibility, that is just another layer that MUST be addressed and resolved before the trauma is resolved. One layer at a time.

Healing Through Spirituality...

I attended the Saturday afternoon session of General Conference for the LDS church a few days ago. During the session, the apostle, Elder Richard G. Scott gave a fabulous talk that is right up my alley. He talked about healing from abuse. Currently, it is in mp3 format on the LDS website. The link is as follows: http://lds.org/conference/sessions/display/0,5239,23-1-851,00.html
I found it extremely powerful to hear a man of God to speak on mental health and healing from it. He talked about the importance of not delving into the past, forgiveness, and healing through the atonement of Jesus Christ. I find the principles helpful not only for mental health counselors, but for anyone. How helpful would it be to feel that any pain you experience could be released through an All Powerful God? So many therapists, psychologists, theorists, and professionals alike claim that God is "made up" to give meaning, hope, or purpose. What's wrong with that? What else could give greater purpose, hope, or meaning than an all knowing, all powerful, all loving God who gave his life so that His followers might be healed and live? It only makes perfect sense to me for people to exercise hope through such a Being.

Burned!!!!!

One of the difficulties of working in the trauma field, and I suppose in the general counseling field is personal burnout. I'm experiencing that myself these days. I can honestly say that it does not come from the actual client work in which I am constantly engaged. Naturally, there are many challenging situations that get me thinking and studying in order to meet individual needs; but that does not wear me down. It is other aspects of working on the "front line." It seems that working with children in this realm puts one in a position of scrutiny and question. A disgruntled client will subpoena me to court, or make accusations against therapeutic choices or consultations. It is these outside sources that leave me with a sense of vulnerability--as if my very character is being questioned. This is an obvious issue that needs to be dealt with as it can lead to unethical choices and compromising situations. That is definitely not my intention as a professional! However, despite my educated and consulted choices, it seems that there will always be someone to scrutinize, point a finger, sling mud, and blame when working on the front lines. There will always be ethical guidelines meant to protect, but that can be interpreted in several ways. And though some may say, when scrutiny is present, "oh don't worry, it'll pass...use this as a learning experience...just weather the storm..." there is still the gnawing voice in the recesses saying, "what would you do differently if faced with it again?...do you really want to work on the front lines anymore?... are you really an effective professional?..." It's those final two that bother me. It seems that my own perfectionistic qualities and errors lead me to BURN myself, which is not healthy, but alas, only human.

Responsibility

I struggle with an issue in the trauma realm. Most of the clients I work with fit in the "victim" category. Many victims struggle with "learned helplessness." On top of that they experience intrusive symptoms that result in avoidant behaviors. Some of them experience so much emotional, physical, and mental pain that they can become nearly incapacitated (that is an overgeneralized statement, but I used it for discussion only). Many of them begin to "become" their disorder or symptoms, thus completing their journey to learned helplessness. Once they get to that point it seems that their accountability and responsibility is out the window. When does pain resolution in trauma work and responsibility meet?

You are what you eat....you are what you think

We have all heard the term, "you are what you eat..." More or less, it means that your body becomes what it absorbs through your diet. If you eat high fat diets the body has a tendency to hold on to more fat and you become obese. That's a no-brainer. Let's take that a bit further and look at "you are what you think." The law of attraction, according to The Secret and other similar beliefs is that you become what your focus is. If you focus on wealth and that you are obtaining it, you will have it. I have actually heard of a man with terminal cancer who treated with with humor and taking vitamin C. He surrounded himself with positive aspects of life and lived. It works the opposite way. If someone is surrounded by negative influences or allows them to be in their presence they are more likely to adapt and become negative themselves. Then, they actually will create a negative environment, change their thinking schema, and continue in their misery and negativity without outside help. I see this every day in my job. People who have become victims believe they are victims and helpless to it. Therefore, they become more and more helpless and cannot change. They give up their will to change to victim stance. This process is called learned helplessness.
To look at the other end of the spectrum, some people who focus on more positive things can also end out getting hurt. These aren't individuals who have been through traumatic experiences, necessarily; but, rather they have been afforded strong characteristics that end out hurting them. I have met people in both my personal and professional life who fall into this category. Individuals who are so confident in their ability to work with people that it ends out hurting them. They know their capacity to communicate with others and use their leadership skills that they end out focusing on it too much...and it hurts them. For example: some individuals (guys or girls) believe so strongly that they can attract someone of the opposite sex (and they can--even if they're not all that attractive), and get them to fall for them that they end out making moral mistakes that result in pain, heartache, and broken relationships. In talking with one such individual about this once, they realized that they had always known that they could "get anyone they wanted" to follow them, and it lead them down prideful paths and destroyed their relationship with their spouse and children. Another example even falls in the category of spirituality. I have met many people who present themselves as being spiritually powerful; with gifts from God to help others. However, that sense of authority lead them to make moral mistakes that resulted in negative consequences. These individuals could be called zealots. Another great example of zealots comes from the valley of Salt Lake City. Several years ago a group of young teenage boys who belonged to a local church decided they were going to try to promote strong resistance to drinking, smoking, using drugs, and abstinence. They started out with the hope to help others to not fall into bad habits. Their dedication became so strong, however, that it lead them to physically attack youth they found engaging in these activities that they opposed. All of it, to them, was in the pursuit of the common good. But, kids got hurt. These examples show, that too much of even a good thing can become destructive.
Now, returning to the initial topic...the negative effects of learned helplessness and focusing on the victim stance; some people take their mental health position and begin to focus so much on it that it exacerbates their circumstances and interferes with their progress. Some, as an attempt to understand their situation or condition better seek to study, read, and ponder on everything they can in the hopes that understanding will bring relief. Then, they share their information with others to help others understand their condition. It starts out as an educational experience, which is positive, but then they become a zealot of their own condition. Delving deeper and deeper into it and refusing to let go of it due to the sense of purpose it gives them. Their condition, which was usually forced upon them is accepted, embraced, and used to give them purpose in life...to continue being sick. Why is that? We are creatures of habit. Sometimes, even if a behavior is negative, we don't wish to let go of it due to its familiarity. We find comfort even in the things that cause us pain. Abused children wish to return to their parents, because it is familiar. They seek to find the desired love they feel is necessary in order to give further purpose to their condition. It has been my experience that the positive attention and love that they feel is necessary will not be attained through the abuser or through constant focus on their difficult circumstances. Deep down inside, the suffering person probably knows this, but refuses to acknowledge it and take the appropriate steps to continue progressing. If the individual continues to return to focusing on their condition and the causes of it, progress is halted and the pain will continue. Growth is stunted.
My focus on this article has been to educate readers (all 2 of them) that if your main focus is something that is negative, you will exude negativity and attract it as well. It will stunt growth and create unhappiness. If you find yourself stuck in behaviors that are familiar and comfortable, but have negative results...STOP! It will be hard at first, just as breaking any habit is. It will be similar to the chain smoker stopping cold turkey. The nicotine that served as an anti-anxiolytic will cause withdrawals, but will subside. The security blanket of negativity will dissipate and make room for growth. Remember, you are what you think...and you become what you focus on most.

Oil and Water--Legal System and Mental Health System

It has become apparent that the legal system and the mental health system don't exactly mix. At times they can work together well, but most times it is water and oil mixing together. Most of the attorneys and even some of the judges do not have a full understanding of the purpose of the mental health system--specifically psychological evaluations. We provide parenting and psychological evaluations for the court systems. They are in depth and comprehensive. the results of the evaluations are difficult for others not trained in it and can be misinterpreted. That can cause problems in the court system. I would recommend that attorneys have training in human development and psychological testing as it would be a positive service to clients.

Another aspect of the legal system and the mental health system is even simpler...cover your own butt. Even if you're providing services for another agency, care for yourself. Remember that no other attorneys other than your own can provide legal advice or representation. Representing yourself in legal matters can get harry, especially when you have not had legal training. Trust your own judgment, though. If you feel that you should not get involved in a legal case, then don't. It has been my experience that there are attorneys that will do what is necessary (no matter how dirty, dishonest, or immoral) to defend their client. Do not expect an attorney to understand the goings on in a therapy session, the techniques used, the modalities followed, etc. Many of them might not want to understand. If you find yourself on the stand in a court room, be confident and sure of yourself and your therapeutic judgment and process. You are trained to do this work. This is what you are. Be the therapist in the office and on the stand. Also, continue your studies to ameliorate your therapeutic position. Do not be surprised that your modalities will change as time goes on. Be open to various forms of therapy and not just on Western thought-based modalities. I've found that to be extremely helpful with my therapeutic repertoire.
Enough for now.

Trapped

I know that I have hit safety several times in past blogs. I continually run into further problems with it, which thus makes it difficult for trauma resolution to occur. Many of my clients are in constant emotional turmoil, and much of it is caused by family members or other close people. These situations increase their stress and sense of helplessness. They all seem to be trapped. The legal system does not seem to be able to help these clients, as there is no actual "physical evidence" presentable to protect them. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Christmas Spirit...

What is the Christmas Spirit? Does the United States still have it? It seems that the word Christ or God in general have been deleted from even Christ's birthday due to the fear that it is discriminatory to those that don't believe in Christ as the Savior of the world. Santa Claus, who is the Father of Christmas is nothing more than a symbolic representation of Christ, bringing gifts and joy to the world. Separation has already happened with the school system, such as banning the Pledge of Allegiance. I remember growing up and holding my hand over my heart proudly reciting the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag of the US. Now, kids don't know it. Next, I wouldn't be surprised to see Christmas songs/hymns such as "Joy To The World," "Silent Night," and other common songs to be considered disciminatory. Here's the funny thing about the U.S. It is supposed to cater to the majority. The majority is Christian who believe in God and a Savior of the world which brings hope, joy, and peace. The minority have other beliefs that are also hopeful, but may not believe in Christ. The Christmas spirit is just that...hope, joy, and peace. It's the same thing that clients seek when they're in my office...hope, happiness, and peace with themselves and the world. It seems only logical that the Christmas season's purpose could bring that if implemented correctly. Remember, that the point of Christmas is "peace on earth, good will toward men" which comes through hopeful beliefs, whatever they may be. Obviously, I have displayed my values as a Christian believer and that it is a celebration of Christ, the Savior's birth. Therefore, for me it is a time of joy and celebration. Whether you believe it or not does not matter to me, but should matter only to you (the reader). Worship how you wish and in what manner that you don't, be you atheist, Buddhist, Islamic, Jewish, Christian, Pagan, etc. And let all others worship as they may. That will bring peace on earth and good mental health.

Merry Christmas to all...

Reductionism and Foundation

Reductionism and Foundation

I had an interesting session recently that brought up some thoughts. I was talking with a particular
client who had been in a violent relationship. The name will obviously be omitted, however, the
gender will be included for the sake of the situation and the ease of writing. She had been with a
boyfriend for nearly a year when he attacked her. The situation resulted in her contacting the
police and his incarceration (though not for the crime, but rather for probation violation). She
ended out dismissing the charges, but he was still sentenced to a year in jail. She admitted that she
was the kind of person that goes back to their abuser due to insecurities. As we began talking she
opened up and admitted that much of the foundation upon which she built her self-worth had to
do with her looks and social skills (which were not lacking especially in high school years she
said). However, due to an unforeseen health malady she was robbed of those physical
endowments for several years. During said time she experienced a deep depression and a loss of
confidence and who she was. After that time of trial her health returned and she was able to lose
the weight she gained and was feeling "more confident" again. It was soon after, however, that
she met her boyfriend (now incarcerated) and began dating him, though she promised herself to
never date that type of a guy. She still plans on staying with him, though she knows that he will
not help her attain the future she desires. So, I asked her "what happened? What happened for
you to compromise your own standards and values?" She didn't know. Now, that is where we'll
begin this discussion on foundation--a personal foundation of values, character, traits, standards,
beliefs, etc. She didn't have one other than her physical traits. I asked her if it was a firm
foundation and she agreed that it was not. I asked her what it could be built upon--something
unshakeable and firm. She didn't know. I then suggested to her that she think about her purpose
for living as it is a place to start. She said she wasn't sure, but that it must be to learn and to
experience. I asked her why that would be important. She didn't know. After our conversation I
began thinking ab out reducing purpose and meaning to life down to its simplest form, which is
explained as reductionism. This paper is not going to necessarily focus on reductionism as a
principle, but I will describe it for explanation sake. The online Merriam-Webster's dictionary
describes reductionism as follows: 1 : explanation of complex life-science processes and
phenomena in terms of the laws of physics and chemistry; also : a theory or doctrine that complete
reductionism is possible. 2 : a procedure or theory that reduces complex data and phenomena to
simple terms. Simply put, it’s the idea that all things can be broken down into a simpler form. Not
only does it work with the scientific model, but with psychological problems as well–so I
discovered. I began with this client with one of her current problems and we broke it down to a
main problem that could be resolved. With her self-worth being based on looks and beauty we
used reductionism principles to get down to the core problem. It was simple as one only has to
ask “why” for everything until they can’t any longer. For example, if they have anxiety about a
certain subject, they can break it down as follows:
Q: What are you so anxious about?
A: I’m anxious about failing.
Q: What is it about failing that makes you anxious?
A: If I fail, then that would be bad?
Q: Why would it be bad?
A: It would mean that I didn’t know what I was doing?
Q: What’s wrong with that?
A: If I don’t know what I’m doing, then I fail.
Q: How do you know you fail?
A: I fail when I don’t do something completely right or I make a mistake.
Q: Again, how do you know you fail?
A: I just do.
Q: What does failure truly mean? Let’s look it up in the dictionary.
You then look it up in the dictionary and discuss the meanings of failure. Then ask,
Q: Do you fit the criteria of failure?
A: Well, no, not really.
Q: Then, who originally made the description of failure that you held to for so long, that caused
so much unnecessary anxiety?

Then, discuss the source of the description and why it is so important to them. Why they place so
much value on a description that is not complete. At times the client will even base it on a belief,
standard, or value that is shaky, incomplete, and not firm. I then talk to them about their values,
standards, beliefs, and the foundation upon which they place everything they feel is true (including
their definition of failure). We break it down to a foundation, usually, that is based on principles
that are untrue. As a definition, principles must be true which means that they are complete and
are not missing any important aspects. Principles are beliefs and standards that hold unshakeable
value to the individual. Meaning, it does not matter what kind of emotional upheaval or time of
prosperity the client endures, the foundation with true principles remains constant and
unchanging. Too often do many of my clients not have a foundation, therefore, they wander
without direction, purpose, or goals and thus become victims to their misery, helplessness, and
pity. Using reductionism one can arrive at their very foundation principles to address and modify
them as needed.
Many of my clients have a foundation based on religiosity or spirituality. They seem to recover
more quickly. In fact, some research indicates that individuals with strong active religious beliefs
and activities are more resilient to life’s difficulties and stressors. Though, as a counselor I cannot
recommend or pass those values on to one who is atheistic, similar principles can be found if one
digs deep enough through reductionism. Helping a client find their foundation and core values
helps them have something to fall back on during times of emotional upheaval or anxiety.

A Few Points Regarding Trauma and Free Will

It is important to observe how such a characteristic can be developed even when trauma has been present. Several clients come into our offices talking about their individual traumas and how they have made things difficult for them. They also talk about how it has affected their relationship with the perpetrator(s), other close people, the community, and God. Many of them have guilt and blame themselves and/or hold severe grudges and harbor anger and hate towards the perpetrators. At times they question why life has been more difficult for them than for others and how they were dealt such a poor hand. The following is going to be more of an explanation based on psychology and spirituality in hopes to answer some of the above questions.
Traumatized clients’ relationships change and function on a level that deviates from the norm. Much of that is due to the trust that has been broken time and time again. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, their level of safety, love, and esteem have not been established or maintained. Therefore, their ability to self-actualize (Maslow’s hierarchy) is not possible. The only level that is actually, at times, maintained is their physiological needs (i.e. food, water, shelter, etc.), though that is questionable with neglected children/childhood as well. On the level of safety, an individual must feel comfortable and secure in their environment with minimal attack on their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self. If attacked, their capacity for moving to the higher hierarchical needs is diminished. They may struggle with giving and receiving love or having esteem for themselves and others. Thus, can be a large factor with esteem. When a client has been traumatized time and time again they begin to lose trust with initially the perpetrator, and then it can spread to others who are close to them, the community, and to God (depending on their beliefs). Recently, a client (whose name we’ll call Matthew) disclosed horrific traumas from his childhood. Much of it involved abuse and neglect from his family and a large part involved a neighbor who befriended then molested him time and time again. He did not trust his family for help so endured the continued abuse. He described other economic difficulties, physical health problems, and general loneliness. He asked why it is that he was given a difficult life. He felt that it must have been something he did to deserve the pain and suffering without much respite. To try to escape the pain he had attempted suicide many times, though without success. When asking why he had to suffer I explained something to him, that I hope will help others. First and foremost, everyone has the right to act (free will). Anyone can do what they want. Whether they are conscious of the results depends on each individual. Some people, however, have made the choices to act against others in a way that is harmful, degrading, and usually self-serving. Such acts can be considered abusive, because it is in an attempt to remove or negate another’s free will and control them or change their acts. Such self-serving acts do not serve the victim (the receiver of the self-serving acts) in any positive ways. It can change the victim’s life perspective (specifically on relationships) and attacks their general need for safety (Maslow’s hierarchy). Therefore, the abuser (the one who acts self-servingly) is responsible for their acts and how it affected the victim. Responsibility lies solely with them and none other, especially the victim. Therefore, the victim is not the guilty party. The guilty party in the technical sense is only the abuser. Guilty signifies “1 : justly chargeable with or responsible for a usually grave breach of conduct or a crime. 2 obsolete : justly liable to or deserving of a penalty” according to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary. Therefore, it is not possible for the victim to be guilty for the self-serving act when they were the individual being acted upon rather than acting. Matthew blamed himself as that was the only logical reason he could come up with. Why else would it happen if there wasn’t something so terribly wrong with him or his character–something innate that called to abusers “Here I am! Hurt me! That’s what I’m here for!” The truth of the matter is that each person can act in whichever way that they please, selflessly or selfishly.
That brings us to the next point that Matthew brought up, which is also a point other clients have made regarding God. If God was a merciful and a just God, how is it that he could let such terrible things happen to undeserving people and let the abusers go unpunished? At that point one can revert back to free will. If free will is truly something that exists, an ability given to all to act; and God is God–all powerful and all knowing with the ability to do what He wants, would he not allow the individual to exercise their free will “according to the dictates of their own conscience?” Any other way would be tyrannical, dictatorial and contraindicative of what free will is.
The power of free will is that many can exercise it in a way achieve Maslow’s highest achievement which is self-actualization. In spite of the difficulties one has faced, or the traumas caused, one can utilize and strengthen their ability to act to achieve safety and overcome the trauma–thus developing resiliency.

Teenagers...

I received a few responses on my teenager problem/question. All of them were from separate people, and none of them knew about the others. The irony is that the responses were nearly the same. One indicated that it is a maturity thing--their brain has not yet developed to the point where egocentric thought is no longer present. Another said that it is an agency issue--they have to choose it. They have to want the change to occur. That makes perfect sense. Therefore, the only logical choice to helping teenagers means to be doing activities or interventions at their level--to kill boredom. Activities that are thought and emotion provoking. Experiential and recreation therapies do such that. Our clinic needs to add that to the therapeutic repertoire. It is a style that is not yet used. I'll work on it.

Treatment For The Homeless

Dr. Rob Bagley from the Trauma Awareness and Treatment Center (where I work) was interviewed by KSL Channel 5 last night and the story of the treatment we do with the homeless was aired on the 10 o'clock news. Here is a link for the story...

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=1062420

More on teenage boredom...

I haven't received any responses from my many readers. Here is a great link on teenage boredom.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/09/04/national/main520718.shtml

A question for anybody who cares...

What drives a teenager to seek only activities that bring immediate gratification rather than activities that require delayed gratification??? This is bothering me a lot with some kids. Let's see how many people read this thing.