All I Wanted Was A Diet Mt. Dew!

I went to the 7-11 to get a Diet Mt. Dew. It had been a very long day at that point. The cashier asked if I would be interested in buying a snack, which I did. Then, upon leaving, and feeling great about my purchase (particularly the Mt. Dew), I heard a loud high-pitched voice. I turned to see a scene of a mother yelling at her toddler child for not sitting on the ground while she browsed the movie section. I saw two other children, who I assumed to be hers also walking around. She appeared distraught or frustrated or a combination of the two. As I opened my car door, I began to wonder what that mom had experienced that day. By no means was I judging her for her actions with her toddler. I can't imagine the toddler enjoyed being yelled at, but I've been in her shoes...a long day at the office, grading lots of school papers, and returning home to disgruntled children and me wanting to "blow up." The amount of stress and anxiousness she must have been feeling was apparent in her body movement, her facial expressions, her actions with her child, etc. I can imagine her body is being flooded with stress hormones and adrenaline at those times, and that over time it will wear down her body, her capacity to think and react in a rational and emotionally constructive manner. It sounds exhausting. I only say this, because I have felt it before, just as most of us do. Rather than focus on the moment, though, I would wonder what might help this woman to feel more calm generally, so that when stressful moments come her fuse is not shortened. Some thoughts come to mind with how to deal with day-to-day stressors. Most of them are behaviorally and cognitive in nature.

1. Organize and prioritize: I know that we all have many responsibilities. Organize them and prioritize them according to importance. Sometimes, even important things need to be put aside for a time. Trust me, the world will not stop turning if we can't get everything done NOW.

2. Ask for help: Life becomes overwhelmingly stressful when we feel alone. I wonder who that woman had to turn to for help. At times it requires a little bit of creativity to provide ourselves with respite, even if it is only at night when the kids are asleep. However, there is usually someone to turn to. Some examples are having friends to trade off with for babysitting when needed. Family members, church or club members, etc. Find someone.

3. Take time for yourself: This is something that is not done enough in society. Life is too busy. Give yourself time to slow things down and take a few moments to read a chapter in a book; call a friend; write in a journal; drink a soda (or something else you like--preferrably healthy); or write a blog!

4. Self-inventory: Make a list of the things that you say to yourself or mutter under your breath regarding yourself. What is positive and growth-promoting? What is not? Negative self-talk must be replaced.

If you have any other ideas, share them in the comments section.

The Power of Music!

It is amazing what music can do to unite people from all over the world. Eric Whitacre, the renouned chorale composer developed the Virtual Choir where over 2000 individuals from all over the world recorded a chorale piece together. The music is moving and emotional. Check it out!
http://ericwhitacre.com/the-virtual-choir

Late Night Mumblings...

It has been a long day, but I have a few thoughts. A colleague of mine, Dr. Gray Otis (President-elect of the American Mental Health Counselor Association) and I were discussing how the mental health of life changed with the industrial revolution. With the advent of technology, the advancements of science and education, etc. distance has been gapped and information availability is possible where it used to be scarce. It has made life "easier" in a sense. However, as we discussed one day, it has had its side-effects. There is less one-on-one socialization; less outdoor activities; less agricultural activities; and just less physical movement in general. Rather than experiencing a horrific catastrophe or natural disaster, what can we do to have a more balanced lifestyle? Here are a few suggestions.

1. Simplify: Make your days and routines more simple. Learn to say yes to the things that are important and no to the things that are not. Being assertive is not a crime.
2. Go outside: Adults and children have forgotten the joys of being outside. Don't "think" about it. Just do it. I remember the days when I would strap my fishing pole to my BMX bicycle and ride three miles outside of town to fish in the Bear Lake Canal with my brothers and cousin. I remember fishing for "crawdads" in the local creeks with rolled-up jeans and wading barefoot through the cold water. I remember marveling (and still do) at how the sky seems to glow when it snows at night.
3. Balance Needs and Wants: We all want our toys. Learn to balance what is important as to not overwhelm yourself with the newest and best things. Make sure the needs are truly needs and not wants. If you are not sure, take a look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs for a few ideas. (http://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs)
4. Laugh: Learn to laugh at yourself and to not take life so seriously. If things feel overwhelming, as yourself if what you are worried about is bringing you joy. Most likely, it is not.

Come up with some of your own ideas. What are they? Post them in the comments section.

Pirates of the Caribbean!

My family and I just returned from an extended vacation in Californa and Disneyland. My all-time favorite ride is Pirates of the Caribbean. The creativity, the music, the ghosts, and of course, the saying "Dead Men Tell No Tales" continues to ring in my ears even a week after leaving. At ofttimes while meandering through the cursed coves in the rugged boat I wonder what would happen if the ride broke down, the lights would come on, and what I might see. I am afraid that the fun illusions might lose their luster and appeal if I could see the ride in its true form. I might see more fully the warehouse walls and ceilings, faded painting and chipped characters. The lights would change my perception and beliefs of the make-believe world Walt Disney envisioned.
Many times, our life is similar to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. We live with a certain beliefs in ourselves in the warehouse of our mind and hearts, believing them to be true. Our internal warehouse may be filled with shadows and meandering corridors that though comfortable, are not an accurate representation of reality. It is only when the lights turn on that we see the illusion. We can learn that the things we believe about ourselves and our value and self-worth are incorrect. We find that the dimness obscures our vision of the luminous people we are with infinite value and capacity. How often do we dim ourselves out or let others dim us to maintain in relative comfort that can actually damage our personal growth?
I had a conversation about this with an individual recently. We were discussing how their fear of change is like a shroud of comfort that kept them from moving forward. They even admitted, (quite wisely I might add) that fear is comfortable and safe, because it is predictable and stable. Facing the fear and trying something new can be even more frightening, because it requires looking into the unknown, trying new things, and even failing. I told the individual that when Disneyland first opened, the streets got so hot from the weather that the asphalt began to melt, and that attractions did not work as planned. It could have been considered a failure or flop, but somebody kept trying. Very similar to how Thomas Edison continued trying until he succeeded with making the first practical commercial light bulb (he wasn't the first to make the light bulb--just clarifying that). The only way to change is to try, which will require not succeeding the first time--and that is okay! It is only after trying many times that we discover more about how to do it correctly, and little by little the light turns on, the illusion fades, and we see who we truly are.
Although, I hope the Pirates of the Caribbean never breaks down. That's an illusion I enjoy!

Practical Ways to Begin Change

For those who want to work on personal change, here are some solution-focused steps.

1. Awareness: Be aware of what you want to change and have a final goal. How do you want to be when it's all said and done? Write it down!

2. Steps: What is the first step you need to take? Most of the time, it is just trying. The first step is the hardest, because we're afraid it will fail. However, the truth is (turn the light on now) that we truly never fail unless we try. It's part of the process. Failure is when we do not try or even begin.
Once you begin, work at BEING what you want to BECOME. William James said that it is better to act into the correct way of thinking than to think your way into the correct way of acting. It's hard to do, but it's supposed to be. You're exercising muscles you've never used. You'll be emotionally and mentally sore, just as you would after a few workouts.

3. Pat yourself on the back: Give yourself encouragement, even if you don't want to. Act into the correct way of giving yourself encouragement.

4. Endure: Don't quit. If you need to take a break, that is okay; however, don't quit.

Hope these are helpful. If you have any other suggestions that you have used, or want more specific information, let me know.

I Promise, It's Fun! Parent-Child Individual Time.

This is a continuation of prior blarticles (blog articles) I wrote regarding being more like our children and learning from them. Many times I have parents who bring their children into the office and say that they don't enjoy doing anything; they act bored; they seem ADD; they argue and don't show respect for adults, etc. After spending time with the kids I find that they are craving parent time. When I discuss it with the parents, they sometimes describe a life of stress and busy-ness with no time for rest or relaxation--let alone play with their children. This blarticle is about how to make small moments with our children to strengthen our homes and our children.
Much of this, I can say I have not learned from classes, or even counseling experiences, but rather from my own children. The other day I asked my six-year-old daughter what makes her feel happy inside. She said that she loves it when "daddy has movie night with us...and you make popcorn and we watch the movie together." My eight-year-old son will say that he is happy when daddy and mommy are happy and especially when daddy is not grumpy (woops!). He also gets excited when we have movie-night, play catch, or play a Wii game. I find it easy to forget these things due to the day-to-day stressors and business of life. I was again reminded of these important things as I listened to a young client describe the video games they play with their father. It was the first time I had ever seen this child light-up, stay on task and focus. They described in detail the games they play and how it feels when they do not play them together. It seems, as simple as it may be, that the little things in our children's lives make the biggest difference. If you have a hard time playing, then try to remember what it was like to be a child and the joys of playing. If you didn't enjoy playing as a child, watch children and mimmick them. It's easy, and the rewards are a happy home and positive developmental growth for yourself and your children. You can't lose!

Sacrificing Personal Control for Change.

What if the fabric of your life is made of dilemmas? What if change that is necessary violates your personal sense of control? How can one deal with that?
These are thoughts that come to mind when dealing with individuals that have personal perfectionist and protective values and beliefs that are no longer working. They experience certain levels of ambivalence with situations or subjects that are difficult to deal with or change. For example, a person may have the belief that they are required to achieve a certain level of grade in their schooling, but when not attained experience near debilitating levels of anxiousness, depression, or other psychological problems. The dilemma occurs when they realize that they have to change their idea of self-control and perfectionism, which to them may mean that they are losing a part of themselves. How do they cope with that? How would you cope with it, if you struggle with the same issue?
Here are a few thoughts. One could approach it psychodynamically by looking at the internal goings-on and the roots of the problem--start backwards and move forwards--how the past affects the present. This can be beneficial, but with some it may only explain the "why" and not the solution. With some, the "why" may be sufficient. Another approach is solution-focused. Picture what it might be like to not have the "issue" (look towards a future goal) and make small reasonable steps, much like Bob Wiley from "What About Bob." If you recall from the movie, though highly dramatized, his steps were often painful and frightening and required constant behavioral monitoring and adjustment. William James, a frontrunner in psychology might agree with this approach as he said "It's easier to act yourself into the correct way of thinking, than to think yourself into the correct way of acting." While acting into the correct way of thinking one will need to be aware of the thinking processes and how they feed the ambivalent thought and emotional patterns.
There are other ways at approaching this, but I do not wish to make this blarticle (blog and article put together--I just made it up) all about what I think. What are some of your thoughts? How can one be at peace with a change that challenges the very fabric of their values? What are other examples of intrapersonal struggles that you are aware of?

Oh, Mother!

With mother's day approaching, I would like all my readers (all 3 of you, one of which is my own mother) to reflect on the meaning of the word mom, or mother. What comes to mind? I'll give you some time for that..............

Okay, now that you've done that, I am truly hoping that there are positive emotions, thoughts, or images. If so, what are they? Do they reflect on your own mother, yourself as a mother, on another person you may have called mother, or on other women or mothers you know?

Now, narrow down the memories or qualities that you find in this or these individuals and write them down. If I were to do this, I would think of two main people--my own mother (see the picture above) and my wife. For the purpose of this blog, I will focus on my own mother. When I think of her I remember her teaching me how to make my favorite meal, spaghetti. At a young age she taught me how to make it from scratch. It is still my favorite. I remember her playing music in the home: ABBA, Michael Jackson, and Queen (Bohemian Rhapsody was a favorite). I also remember her playing the piano and "forcing" us to sing as she played. I recall her showing up for my baseball games, school musicals, and doing all the "mom things" that I thought all moms did. I remember how she sacrificed everything she was and built a life around myself and four other siblings and my father. Now, she is a grandmother of over a dozen children. I watch her play with them, buy them gifts, and spoil them as grandmothers do. I watch my children's faces light up when they hear that they can play with "Mama-Law." I remember how she is nearly always the first to read and respond to my blogs. Most importantly, I remember the love she has for her family, and am grateful for it.

I hope all 3 readers had similar experiences when recalling what the word "mother" means to you. If you do, tell her what came to mind. If it's awkward, say that some guy who writes a blog thought it would be a good idea and I will take the fall for it :) Do it for her, and for yourself.

Happy Upcoming Mother's Day, Mom.

"Jamison, you're an actor!"

Today's blog includes some personal information. While completing my masters degree in counseling several years ago, a prominent professor told me over and over that I was an "actor." He would say it with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. However, the observation bothered me. I didn't know what he meant. Did he mean I was a fake? Did he mean that I was pretending? I don't know why the thought scared me so badly. Just with those questions one can surmise that I tend to lean to negative self-assessments. It's ironic that a therapist who strives to demonstrate unconditional positive regard to his clients struggles with doing the same with himself. That's a story for another day, though. Back to the story at-hand. Me, an actor! Sure, I had done some acting in high school. The occasoinal musical or skit, but that was not how I looked at counseling. I was striving for genuineness and honesty, and the professor's assessment seemed the opposite...until yesterday.

A friend I hadn't seen in 12 years contacted me online and asked for a referral for his child. I researched his area and gave him some contacts. A month later he contacted me, again thanking me for the information I had provided. He then shared some personal sentiments regarding the experiences we had in common. Much of his description was similar to how I had felt about the experience, which was painstakingly difficult to overcome. While reading, I found myself going over a fantastical scenario of how I might speak to him if he were present with me, rather than communicating electronically. (It's an exercise I do with frequency). I found that my emotions began to reflect more of what he was describing, as well as my mental verbage. I recognized this process, because I know for a fact that I had resxolved my issues that are similar to his and have been at peace with it for some time. I was in the roll as a therapist and a person who is trying to be empathetic. It makes me wonder if that is what the professor meant by his comment. I am more inclined to believe so. Perhaps "acting" means putting yourself in the position of someone to be able to reflect what they may feel or think and is a means of connection. What do you think?

Resiliency in Nature--As Explained by Bear Grylls?

Resiliency In Nature

Man vs. Wild
The following is an article I wrote a few years ago. It has some humor to it, because it is supposed to. I find that there are principles of psychological survival in day-to-day activities. Feel free to read and respond.

In searching for psychological and behavioral examples of how to develop resiliency, one can encounter natural examples and some that are made into entertainment. An example of survival resiliency is displayed on Man vs. Wild with Bear Grylls. It is a television show aired on the Discovery channel that focuses on Mr. Grylls’ survival techniques in various climates and environments throughout the world. He is left in a wilderness area and has five days to get out of danger, survive, and find people or civilization. He has with him only his clothes, his canteen of water, a flint, and a knife. In one incident, he was dropped in the outback of Australia during the rainy season. Although rainy, the environment is harsh, dry, and hot. There aren’t many water sources for miles. The weather was roughly 110-120 degrees Fahrenheit with 100% humidity that increases the perceived temperature by about 10 degrees. After walking for several miles he was out of water. Before running out of water he mentioned that with the humidity and the heat it was important for him to keep his head cool, therefore, he had to cover it with something to absorb his perspiration. The camera cut for a moment and it showed him with his boxer shorts on his head. He said that it is vital to be willing to do what it takes and be open to any opportunity to survive, including using your boxer shorts on your own head. After running out of water he searched for more, but could find none. Therefore, he resorted to urinating in his canteen. He said that it is not poisonous and can be consumed as it is 95% water. Again, you must be willing to take hold of any situation or opportunity to survive. He also, in all of his shows, continues moving without stopping. His goal is to reach people or civilization. Therefore, he is constantly moving. As he is walking he finds things to eat along the way. He is familiar with the terrain and with what is edible and useable. When he gets wet, he immediately seeks shelter, tinder, and wood for a fire to dry off. As he was in Australia he spoke about the aborigines that are native to the land. He mentioned that they are ultimate survival experts. They live by the land. They treat it as an organism and an entity separate from everything else. They use what the environment “gives,” “provides,” or “offers” them. If it provides water they drink and load up. If it doesn’t, they find ways to stay hydrated through other means. If they’re hungry, they eat what is offered and they use it all. As Bear was walking he came across a spider that is edible. He ate it. He came across a snake at one point as he was preparing to sleep for the night. He killed it, cooked it, and ate it. He said that the aboriginals adapt to the environment and the situation it presents. They are positive thinkers. He mentioned that in order to survive you must find small positive aspects of the environment that bring joy and relief, even if momentary and fleeting. At one point in the Ecuadorian jungle he came across a single purple flower hanging from a green vine. He stopped to enjoy it and stated that nature could not help but to just place a single flower and that he was probably the only person that would ever see and enjoy that flower for the beauty that it was. Another aspect of survival is knowing your strengths, limits, and the dangers. Bear Grylls is athletic, strong, and in good physical and emotional shape. However, at times even he has to turn back and find another route. At times even his ideas and plans fail. He mentions that it is part of the survival journey–plans will fail, but you must remain positive, keep your head and not panic (Donahue & MacIver, 2006).

(I don't have the references on here. If you want them, let me know).

Dr. Viktor E. Frankl, the renowned developer of Logotherapy and holocaust survivor described several examples of resiliency in his book.
Frankl mentioned how being in Auschwitz and other concentration camps could rob a man of his values due to the devaluation of human life. He said, “If the man in the concentration camp did not struggle against this in a last effort to save his self-respect, he lost the feeling of being an individual, a being with a mind, with inner freedom and personal value” (p. 60) though everything in the camp fought to steal that from him. He indicated that despite the difficulties in the camps, man still has the “choice of action...can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind...” (P. 74). He recalls the men that would walk through the camps giving comfort to other prisoners (no small task), giving their last piece of bread, and exercising their last freedom, “to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” (p. 75). He said that choices are made every hour of every day. They may be small, but they helped to maintain that final freedom. He emphasized that a prisoner could decide what kind of person he was and that it was not determined by the camp or situation. He indicated that there was meaning in suffering–that life had afforded him and others suffering to endure and to learn from–to develop character, purpose and to realize values. Thus, through suffering and even death life could not be complete as it is necessary. Suffering brought the chance of achievement (p. 76-77). To endure, a prisoner had to look beyond the current suffering to a better future, and to exercise faith in that future. Those who gave up hope and faith stopped living and died (p. 83). In order to survive, a man had to be shown a possible future. Frankl frequently remembered Nietzche’s words, “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how...” (p. 84). In focusing on those words he eventually came to understand a meaning to him in life.
What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life–daily and hourly...Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual (p. 85).

Trauma and Recovery by Judith Hermann. Brief Review

Dr. Judith Hermann authored a book called Trauma and Recovery several years ago. It contains great information regarding the study of posttraumatic stress disorder starting with its roots and ending in 1990's. It includes new definitions of psychological trauma or complex trauma that may be included (hopefully) partially or in-full in the DSM-V. Here is some of the information found in the book. The following are notes that I took in studying it for the second or third time. See below for the reference.

Steps of Treatment to Trauma Recovery

The first aspect of recovery is establishing what “recovery” means on each client’s individual level. Some may require a sense of returning to a prior level of functioning, while others may just want to “feel better” or “like themselves” more than they do. At this point, it is important to find out what they client values and how the trauma has affected it and changed their views of the world. This helps in establishing a baseline of functioning and beginning the first step to recovery.

STEP 1: SAFETY
Safety is an umbrella term and has multiple inferences. It is more subjective than objective as safety is different amongst clients. Some types of safety, such as safety from physical harm is more universal; however, other types are not.

STEP 2: TRAUMA RESOLUTION
What does the client want from the treatment?
Trauma resolution means reintegration of the self. When trauma occurs, the body goes into fight/flight/freeze response. The more often trauma occurs, the more sensitive the body becomes to traumatic arousal. The more often traumatic arousal occurs, the higher the level of adrenaline, cortisol, and other hormones are in the body. PTSD symptoms occur and the individual experiences an almost disintegration of emotions, cognitions, behaviors, and the five senses. Resolution occurs when these four aspects of the human experience are reintegrated (i.e. the client doesn’t have panic attacks/anxiety when exposed to an aspect of the trauma, though there is no memory or rationality for the anxious symptoms). Much of resolution can only happen when a certain level of individual perceived safety is established and maintained.

STEP 3: RECONNECTION
Many times, survivors of trauma have become isolated and the traumatic symptoms and responses have affected their capacity to function in society. Reconnection is getting back into life.



Herman, J. (1997). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence--from domestic abuse to political terror. NY: Basic Books.

YES! Mondo Vacation for Me!

I took a brief hiatus from blogging, working, schooling, studying, and mostly thinking. I just spent two days in Las Vegas and seven days in Anaheim. Six of those Anaheim days were fun-filled with my wife, three children, and family members at Disneyland and California Adventure! Though mini-vacations help get through the stress of day-to-day activities, there is nothing more rejuvenating than time away from everything in a warm climate surrounded by family and loved-ones. We live in a difficult time where life requires constant running, therefore, we need to get away from it all. There is no better way to do it than to leave your own home, town, or even State and visit a place you enjoy.
Once I return home, it will be back to working as a full-time therapist, part-time University instructor, full-time doctoral student, and much much more. But, I'm ready to get back to the grind for another year and will be planning my next vacation shortly.

Mini Vacations or Mondo Vacations?

Dr. Larry Beall, PhD, a local psychologist and expert in traumatology has been running a clinic in Salt Lake City, UT for over 15 years. Over that time he has written or authored many papers and other helpful tidbits of information that have not been published. I came across one of these that he entitled "Mini-vacations" which was a list of 100 small activities that one can do to "vacate" from daily activities and deal with daily stressors. Though the ideas seem simple and irrelevant, it often time seems that it is just those small and simple things that keep us going. Taking time to "smell the flowers" and remain present in the moment can give us the well-needed rejuvenating relaxation to finish out a day, finish a homework assignment, or keep us from wanting to cause harm to our own children :P I know that the last comment may seem uncouth, but I know that many of us feel stressed with our children at times.
Reading through the list I was reminded of the time I was completing my undergraduate degree while trying to maintain employment. I spent many hours at the American Fork Library crouched over books and typing on my archaic IBM laptop. To remain interested, I would promise myself time to read one to two chapters in a fiction book of my choice. Most of them were sci-fi and I even dabbled in the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice. Once finished with my chapters, I would return to the assignments. The mini-vacations kept me going and kept the stress from becoming overwhelming. What can you do to just keep going?

Thoughts on Man vs. Animal...

I recently began studying a book called A Psychology Of Human Strengths edited by Lisa G. Aspinwall, and Ursula M. Staudinger (2003). I was fascinated on some aspects of their findings regarding human nature. More or less, they indicated that human beings have a dual nature. The first can be considered as the part of us that has lasted over the eons of evolution. The animal or primal part that desires survival and survival alone. It also is the part that seeks for self-gratification and is somewhat amoral. It's the cro magnon within all of us--without values or morals. The only purpose is to eat, drink, survive, and self-satisfy. Freud would have called that part of us the Id. The ID operates according to the pleasure principle i.e. it seeks pleasure and avoids pain. It is our instinct. If we want to do a particular thing we will do it. For example, if we are in a lesson and we want to go to sleep, we go to sleep. http://www.btinternet.com/~brownfamilywebsite/freud/id_ego_superego.htm
It's a fascinating part of each of us. Most of us have done something on a whim or simply because we desired it without thinking of the consequences or if it was the right thing to do. Whether it ranges from eating too much at the buffet, because all the food looked good (and resulting with GI problems) or a teenager or adult offending sexually on a child, it is all the same urge (but to different extents). Many people use these animalistic or Id impulses as excuses. We hear it every day at home and in the work place to various extents. Psychology tries to explain them through evolutionary terms, cognitive distortions, addictions, impulses, desires, appetites, etc. Many people use these animalistic or Id impulses as excuses. If all of our actions were driven by these impulses, that would mean that our behaviors are determined by stimulus and response.
On the other hand, human behavior does not seem to follow determined patterns of stimulus and response. Far too often actions occur based on another behavior that cannot be necessarily measured or predicted. Some may call it the X Factor or the human will. Behaviorists may argue that even human will can be deterministic in nature; however, it seems that it is only said AFTER the behavior is done--hindsight. I believe it is this will that can defy the natural and evolutionary impulses within us all. It can be the determining and unpredictable factor for all that is good within us. It does make one think, does it not?

Mind Loop No More!

An expert in anxiety disorders, specifically obsessive compulsive disorder once mentioned that a helpful way to get your mind off of an anxious track is to distract it with something you memorize. It has to be something lengthy and inherent with personal meaning. The following is a great example of something to memorize, because of the meaning the words carry. It is the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Retrieved on 4/22/2011 from http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/invictus/

I Promise! It doesn't bother me...follow-up

I spoke to my young son today about his example to me and others and how his dirty hands, wild dancing, and carefree attitude can be so contagiously wonderful. What surprised me most was that his green eyes welled-up with tears and he hugged me and said that "made me so happy, dad." I then spent the next 30 minutes talking to my children about how proud I am as their father and all that they teach me. My son cried, and my daughter (6 years old) beamed. My 3 year old just made faces at me. Children truly can be the source of all that is healing and pure. So, why not act like them some time? Afterwards, I watched him run around in circles down the aisle at the store...and I let him.

Quantum Physics and Mental Health...

The following is from a guest mental health therapist, Hollie Hancock, LAPC. To see her bio, use the following link http://cornercanyoncounseling.com/staff/

The quantum physics of mental health and wellness.

ENERGY.An unseen power that is all around us and moves us every day.

THOUGHTS.Unseen forces that move us to act or react thousands of times each day.

Our thoughts have energy. Our thoughts have POWER. How much power? Let’s consider:

You think about 60,000 thoughts a day. It’s up to you to make sure that you don’t use up 59,999 of them with negative, cynical thinking. So next time, before you start to think something negative, just think about that…and this: Your brain has 100 billion cells – and each of these little babies is connected to at least 20,000 cells. The variety of potential combinations of all these is more multitudinous than the number of molecules existing in the entire universe! So, if you have that many different combinations of brain cells to choose from, why not try a new combo today?

Now for some REALLY scienc-y quantum physics stuff:

(Did you know that reading this blog entry about mental health and wellness would lead you to learning quantum physics? How cool are you?!?!?!? I must say, you are very smart blog readers!)

Both form and formlessness are connected within the same vibrating field around you. All molecules are energy – and all energy is in motion at varying speeds – all around you, at all times.

Some molecules vibrate at slower speeds – and those vibrating at very slow speeds are what you presently perceive as the material world. And those molecules vibrating at hyper-fast speeds are the invisible energy of your thoughts.

Huh?

Yes, thoughts, too have energy.

In other words: the only difference between you and the computer screen you are presently looking at are the configuration and speed of your molecules. Otherwise, you and your computer screen are made of the same stuff, vibrating in the same interconnected field.

Your local Quantum Physicist has even documented how the brain has electrical energy that gives off varying vibrations depending upon thoughts and mood. Because like energy attracts like energy, it makes sense that positivity might indeed attract positive results – even “positive, lucky coincidences”.

This may explain why the rich get richer, why misery loves company, and why whenever you’ve already in a good mood, it’s way easier to stay in a good mood.

And this is why fear attracts fear. Like your fear of not being able to fall asleep always seem to attract the problem of your not being able to fall asleep. Ditto for your fear of falling in love. Ditto for your fear of being too successful.

Yes, my fellow blog readers, thoughts have ENERGY. WEIGHT. And yes, POWER.

Let’s start using the power for GOOD. For lots of energy and lots of success and lots of whatever else it is you seek. Literally.

Concentrate on your thoughts in the coming weeks. Concentrate on one good thought a day. Then let the good times roll!

Until next time, be gentle with yourself. Take care of yourself. And take a little time to ROCK ON!

Here’s to you and your journey!

Hollie

The quantum physics info was borrowed from Karen Salmansohn’s book, “how to be HAPPY, dammit!” It’s a great read! Check it out sometime! Lots of good vibrations coming from this book, if you know what I mean!

I Promise! It doesn't bother me....

I have a little bit of an OCD problem...it's always been there and I lovingly accept it for the most-part. One of the things that gets my anxious juices flowing is watching my son. He is eight years old and still gets food on his face when he eats, spills it on his shirt, lets his fingernails grow out and inevitably caked with various types of dirt, mud, and other microbes. It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. On top of that, he "makes a fool" out of himself in public by dancing down the grocery store aisle or doing other acts of performance that cause me to look over my shoulder in fear of what onlookers might think of my child. As much as I try to lovingly parent him to "behave" or to have "good manners" at the table he does not seem to absorb my parental advice. Just when I thought that I was some how failing at parenting, I had an experience that changed my mind.

Many individuals go throughout their childhood without the opportunity to dance in the aisle or play in the dirt. When that happens it seems that the childhood light gets snuffed out and they end out on my couch talking about their childhood and how it continues to plague them into adulthood. As I sit and listen, I realize the joy that my son and daughters have when they "make a fool" of themselves, because they feel something. They feel like dancing, so they do. My daughters dress up as princesses, because they believe they are princesses. My son dances break-dancing (or at least his own rendition) and believes that he really is doing it. Who says they're not? The light in their eyes and the joy in their faces is enough to show that they are fulfilled, connected to themselves and their surroundings, and don't care what others think.

We can learn a lot from children...we should do as they do...

Twice Baked Potatoes...

An individual told me today a really funny, but true joke. She said that a friend of hers, who is a pot dealer was getting married. She decided to provide a food item for his potluck supper. All humor aside, she is making "twice-baked" potatoes. I got a good laugh out of that one.

Homelessness Part 2 and more...

In working with the homeless man I mentioned in a prior blog, I realized how difficult it would be for one who has never had social interaction to develop a relationship. It left me wondering how someone who was raised in a volatile and/or neglectful environment could truly develop a positive and long-lasting relationship. My reasoning for this thought is due to child development. A child goes through stages of development. Many theorists, such as Piaget and Erikson describe some of these stages. I will not discuss these stages in this article, though it is important to understand that there is sufficient data to support the idea of human developmental stages. Though they are not the be-all end-all, they can describe and provide a point of reference when studying human behaviors.
Back to the point at hand...this particular person, as well as many others who have come through my door were not afforded the nurturing opportunities that children require to develop emotional, cognitive, and social competencies. This results in a developmental delay or crisis that slows their socialization to a snail crawl speed, where others may be jogging or some sprinting.
What can be done about it?
I have a few thoughts on this question. When one has not had the environment to grow in, I wonder if it is possible to provide one with the hopes that it would create a microcosm of a nurturing environment. For years, a friend of mine has had the dream of providing a therapeutic farm--a place within a city where the traumatized or others can come to heal. The farm would have small animals, gardens, trees, fields of grass, and places for people to come and socialize and work together. Holistic therapuetic services would be provided in buildings or houses on the property that fit with the decour and environment. A store with therapuetic books and toys would also be present for clients and professionals alike. Naturally, there is much more to it when it comes to the logistics, but the dream could be healing to some or many. The environment would be based on Maslow's Hierarchy, in that it would be safe, away from dangers of the world, filled with natural surroundings, and provide work even for those who need it (i.e. caring for the animals, gardens, trees, etc.).
As I think about such a place, I cannot help but wonder how it might benefit individuals to interact with one another, feel part of a small community that they can affect and mold. A place where they are accepted and with others with whom they have things in common. It's just a thought...

Resources
http://www.piaget.org/aboutPiaget.html
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_g2699/is_0001/ai_2699000120/