Psychodynamic Therapy, Narcissism and Shame

I have been slowly reading a book on Skills of Psychodynamic Counseling. Psychodynamic counseling theories and methods stem originally from Freudian Psychoanalysis; however there are some inherent differences. The book is interesting as it focuses on the foundations of the theory. One really great quote about this style of therapy is "Psychodynamic therapy involves the interaction of two minds which influence each other both consciously and unconsciously" (Howard, 2010, p. 15). The book talks about the therapeutic alliance being important to the method, just as it is in other methods such as Person-Centered Therapy. The difference is, that it indicates that there are two relationships occurring simultaneously. The first is the relationship between the counselor and client as adults. The counselor honors the client for coming to them and provides an environment where trust can be encouraged and fostered. The second is the subconscious relationship which involves the counselor as an adult and in a position of authority and the client's subconscious, which can be likened unto a child. In order for the client to have a positive counseling experience and to process childhood subconscious issues, the adult-adult relationship must be well-established. Where narcissism and shame come into play has to do with the relationship. A client who comes to me may have feelings of shame due to the fact that they have not been able to deal with their problems on their own. This can result in a hurt ego, and narcissism itself, is damage to the ego which resulted in shame; then, the ego overcompensates for the shame by inflating itself and becoming grandiose. Therefore, in order to heal, the issues of shame must be addressed at a child-like level which cannot happen unless the first relationship is established. I find these ideas fascinating and wonder how often we try to exert power over others due to our positions of authority and how it affects their own childlike egos. Just some food for thought. Dr. Jamison Law Howard, S. (2010). Skills in psychodynamic counselling & psychotherapy. California: Sage Publications, Inc.

What Do Counseling and Heavy Metal Have In Common?

Hello everyone, The title, this time, does have something to do with the article! A recent situation got me thinking about the use and necessity of therapeutic confrontation. Much of it stems from having been at a training where individuals are trained in therapeutic relationship skills. One of the techniques that is taught is therapeutic confrontation. This technique means to demonstrate discrepancies or to point out discrepancies or dissonance that a client is experiencing. I particularly like the term dissonance, as it is a musical term. When two notes that are typically 1/2 or one step from each other are played together, it sounds “off.” They don’t fit together like a typical chord and it can sound “grating” on the ears. A lot of music such as heavy metal uses dissonance as a means to excite or bring an anxious response to the crowd. If you've been to a concert before, you know what I’m talking about! People do the same thing internally. They may believe one thing, but behave in an opposite fashion. This creates anxiousness. Or, a client will feel one way about one thing, and yet go against it. I.e. An abuse survivor may be afraid of the abuser, but seek out love and affection from abusers as a means to compensate for a feeling of unworthiness or inferiority. As a counselor, we can point out the discrepancies in a following manner: Counselor: “For the past few minutes you’ve been describing to me quite a difficult event. You reported feeling guilty for what happened and for how you responded, yet on the otherhand, you continue to do it. What can you tell me about that?” The point is to bring the client to a greater level of awareness of their behaviors, cognitions, and affects that are not adding up. Many counselors believe pointing out the client’s flaws is a means of confrontation; however, pointing out flaws can actually increase the client’s anxiousness, guilt levels, and even cause damage to the therapeutic relationship; thus, slowing down the process with the client and inhibiting growth and change. Therefore, it is important to learn appropriate methods of confrontation before engaging a client in their discrepant behaviors. Motivational Interviewing can be a good method to help with confrontation. Youtube has multiple examples of what it looks like. If you have any questions, let me know! As always, it is a pleasure to chat with you all! Dr Jamison Law

The Psychology of Brer Rabbit: Psychological Resiliency

I know for all four of my readers out there, it is obvious that I have an affinity for many things, Disney. Much of that has to do with its capacity to remind me of childhood, and for the positive memories I have with family and friends. I grew up watching old Disney cartoons on Sunday evenings with my siblings. They were good times and I remember them fondly and hope to give my children similar memories. Today, I was reviewing the old movie, "Songs of the South" made by Disney. It has been years since it was shown on TV. Despite the reasons for its discontinuation, I find the story of Brer Rabbit to be helpful. You have the main character, Brer Rabbit who was born and bred in a briar patch. When he got to the point where he didn't like it anymore, he left his home and went off to explore the world for himself. He eventually finds himself caught in the middle of a "Tar Baby," or a trap set for him by Brer Fox and Brer Bear. Brer Fox hopes to make a quick meal of him and Brer Bear wants to "knock his head clean off." Though it appears that he is about to meet a gruesome ending, Brer Rabbit convinces the Fox to throw him back into the briar patch where he was born. Though it is a harsh environment, he is familiar with it and able to handle it. We can look at this in a metaphorical sense. Many people are born into situations that may not be exactly optimal. Life gave them their own "briar patch" to be raised in. However, research demonstrates that life's difficulties can result in a type of psychological hardiness that would not be present if the person had not been otherwise exposed to hardships. That is not meant to say that some difficulties are harder than others, because they are. Simply put, many of life's challenges can become the stepping stones by which we can survive later difficulties. If you buy into Victor Frankl's ideas in "Man's Search for Meaning," he said that it does not matter what we ask of life, but rather what life asks of us. At times, life gives us things that are challenging as if to ask us "what are you going to do with that, now?" We can use our prior experiences, whether they were easy or difficult to work through our own personal "Tar Babies." Therefore, when in difficult situations, it can be beneficial to think through prior struggles and come up with a plan with reasonable steps to work through it. And, if there are no steps, then leave it alone and see if things will resolve themselves. Of course, if you don't know the answer, that's when you turn to others such as family, a friend, a counselor, and/or your spiritual beliefs to work through them. Dr Law

Carl Rogers' Counseling Skills CAN WORK!

I just returned from a week long Residency experience with a National University. During this Residency faculty members are assigned to train Mental Health Counseling students in basic counseling skills. Many of the skills are based on, though not limited to, skills that Carl Rogers suggested. Much of Rogers' Human Centered counseling approach was based on the idea that all people are inherently good, and that if individuals are provided the opportunity to receive unconditional positive regard from a professional, then the chances of personal growth increases. Carl Rogers also said that the therapeutic relationship is necessary and sufficient for change. Therefore, counselors are trained to utilize methods such as reflective listening (i.e. being an emotional mirror), echoing, paraphrasing, summarizing, appropriate use of open/closed-ended questions, validation, etc. to help clients feel that they are receiving an empathetic ear to their problems; thus having the environment to promote change. If you want to learn more about it, click on this youtube link to see Carl Rogers talking about his method and demonstrating it in the all-too-familiar case of Gloria. What I find to be interesting is that the basic counseling skills can transcend just the counseling office. There have been times that I have worked with couples where they have an issue with communication. It is interesting to see what can happen if they are taught how to use these basic communication skills in their relationships. They can learn how to talk with their significant others and be able to come to a better understanding of one another. They can also be used as a teacher or instructor communicates with learners. As counselors begin their training in the field, I would strongly suggest that they study the methods that Carl Rogers and other humanist psychotherapists utilized as a means to understand how a therapeutic relationship can help a person change. Think about it, how often do we need an understanding ear to work through our own problems? Being skilled in these methods allows that to happen and can often lead to a person discovering the answer to their own questions. Thus, the client is left empowered and accountable to themselves for their own change and growth. The counselor then becomes a willing observer and partaker in their process, though they do not provide the answers, which strengthens the counseling relationships and maintains ethical boundaries. When I began as a counselor, I remember being overwhelmed with how many clients who wanted the "answer" to their problem. Can you imagine how much knowledge one would need, as well as how much responsibility one would have if they truly did have all of the answers? Also, can you imagine the liability and accountability one would have if their answers are not "correct" for the client? Therefore, a person who can competency use basic counseling skills can provide a means to help their client/learner find their own answers. See you later. Dr Jamison Law

Post-Modern Prometheus and Apocalyptic Premeditations

Truthfully, the title has nothing to do with this blog-article (or blarticle as I like to call them). However, it made you wonder "Hmm, what the heck is this about?"In that case, if you're already reading, you may as well finish. I had an interesting conversation today with a peer. She is an excellent clinician and has wonderful insight. She reminded me how much I still have to learn in the field as a counselor, a supervisor, and an educator and I'm grateful for that. We were discussing how people have gifts, talents, and strengths that sometimes go untapped. She brought up the idea that at times individuals may have gifts that are untapped--that perhaps they recognize them, yet do not wish to recognize them; therefore, they avoid exercising them and may even go to the point of denying they have them. My response to her was something like this: "Well, that would make sense. If someone has an innate gift of capacity and they are not using it, then they are not accountable to it and they have less responsibility, because less is required of them." I'm sure my words were less than this with her, but it was something to that extent. The conversation was short and it made me reflect on myself and what talents I keep "hidden" or "dormant" and why. It also left me wondering what would happen if I did awaken them and used them. What would the result be? I suppose that it would result in more requirements; however, it might also mean that I feel or believe that I am feeling more fulfilled; thus, moving towards a higher level of self-actualization (to speak in Maslow's words). Furthermore, it caused me to realize that in order to do this, it would require me to pursue a higher level of vulnerability with others, which is something that is uncomfortable to me, and to many others. Therefore, do I forget my discomfort and/or lean into it or don't I? I guess one would lean into the discomfort and pursue a higher plane if they had a belief that it did lead to self-actualization. Or, it could mean that they believe that the Universe or a Higher Power has afforded them the gifts for the betterment of others and themselves. Ultimately, all of these things mean the same thing and require the same effort--i.e. a forgetting of one's discomfort, a trust in the existential process of life, and a hope that something fulfilling will come of it. Therefore, leaning into the discomfort would be a positive, yet uncomfortable means to an end--that end meaning the growth of the untapped gift, talent or capacity that would otherwise remain dormant, unused and/or completely lost; not doing anything positive or negative for others or oneself. I suppose that this may just be a brief rambling, but I wonder what others think about this subject…let's see if anyone responds. Also, it could just mean that I read too much and think too much and should spend more time watching TV and vegging out. Dr Jamison Law

A Kick In The Teeth: Walt Disney Says It's OK

All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles have strengthened me...You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you..." Walt Disney Well, there you have it. As I've stated before in this blog, I'm a fan of Walt Disney. Not because I think he was a Saint or some perfect example to pattern my life by. Not a chance. Even he, in the biographies I've read stated that he isn't someone he wanted others to emulate. He said that he swore, told dirty jokes, smoked too much (which ultimately took his life), and drank alcohol. At times, it's been said that he could be overly difficult to work with and even condescending. However, I do appreciate learning about an individual who experiences great odds and difficulties and comes out at the end verifiably happy or content with his life. At one point I liked to study the life of Abraham Lincoln who also struggled and had amazing quotes such as: "I never had a policy; I have just tried to do my very best each and every day." My brief message today, and probably for the next month is for us to remember our struggles and look back at what we have learned. We learn to find meaning and to trust the most important things to remain and the things that are not important to go away. I have been through difficult times and found that family and God are all that matter. Now, I watch other family and friends, and even our country experience difficult times. Whether self-inflicted or not, I believe that there is a Higher Power that is allowing the good and bad to occur and that each one of them is an opportunity to learn and to trust Him. Because, in the end, if there is truly a God, and He is all powerful and knowledgeable, and that He allows things to occur for our benefit, then all of this is a means to an end. And, if He is a God or a Father of me, then His end for me is better than anything that I can imagine, because I do not have all knowledge. Thus, trusting in His means, it will result in an End that will be beneficial more than I can imagine or than what others may imagine. However, because He is not directly in front of me, I look to other examples of those who have struggled to find strength when I do not have strength. Research shows that self-efficacy can be developed by looking to mentors. Mentors must be those who we see have similarities with ourselves in some way. Therefore, I enjoy quotes such as Walt Disney's or Abraham Lincoln's--both men who overcame a lot. That's all for now. Jamison Law

Sancho Seeks Revenge - The Aventures of Sancho-n-Rusimus - mep5

Sancho's Mirror - The Adventures of Sancho-n-Rusimus

The Death Scene - The Adventures of Sancho-n-Rusimus - mep3

mep2 - I can't believe you're gone...

Sancho Gets Electrocuted - The Adventures of Sancho-n-Rusimus - mep1

Hello Subconscious! Pull Up A Chair and Let's Have a Chat!

The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes the subconscious as "existing in the mind, but not immediately available to the conscious." Sigmund Freud used the term subconscious and unconscious interchangeably, though he meant it to be the part of our mind that we're not aware of. At times, I have described it as the part of our mind that is running everything in the background. It may be made up of our personal experiences, our culture, our perceptions of the world around us, our emotions at times, and many more things. It may include even the parts of our environment that we are not paying attention to (i.e. sounds, smells, etc.). I wonder at times what would happen if our subconscious was able to slip fully into our conscious. What might we be aware of? I imagine sitting with a client who is comfortably on my office couch (as comfortable as it could be--it's kind of worn-out). I tell them that in order to proceed with therapy, we must look into their subconscious and that I have invented a machine that can open it up like a computer file and project it all onto a screen in front of them. The purpose is to discover everything about them that they cannot remember and the things that they might not even want to know; and that by opening everything up, they can learn to accept and/or reject things about their beliefs, culture, values, cognitive processes, emotional responses, and behaviors that do not fit into the person they wish they were, or think they are. Therefore, after receiving their written consent and reviewing the possible discomforts they might encounter (of course, I use an informed consent as I am an ethical clinician), I press the tell-tale button on my desk and there is a whirring sound that slowly crescendoes as the machine (use your imagination) begins to open up their mind and project it onto the screen. The machine interprets the subconscious and separates the scenes and words into subtypes so that the screen shoes a series of files. They might be separated into childhood stages (this is psychology after all), ages, or maybe even into emotional responses such as "happy memories," "shame-based memories" or something along those lines. At first the client might want to review memories he/she doesn't remember. The images might be of early infancy and childhood. Those memories that very few of us have due to a lack of awareness, or whatever reason our minds don't hold on to them. Many of these memories might come out as a "Aaaawww, that is cute" or "Wow, I didn't know that happened." Some memories might bring up positive emotions and others might bring on feelings of shame. After a few minutes of nostalgic reflection, it's time to do some work. I might say to the client, "Well, it looks like the technology is in-sync with your neural net (sounds Star Trek-like, doesn't it?), we can proceed with the reason you came to counseling." I then review the things the client said in the intake interview, which usually aren't happy. I mean, who hires a therapist when life is going great? Let's say that this client had one or several difficult experiences that they cannot get out of their mind, or that replay over and over in their dreams, when they're awake, or they replay them behaviorally. They can't quite figure out why, either. So, I ask the client, "If we could classify all of these things you're struggling with, what work or set of words would you use to describe them?" The client takes a moment and responds "Ashamed" or "Weak" or "Scared." Again, these are just words, but they mean something to him/her. So, I review the files and pull up all information on those words along with any associations. I then say, "Well, if you'll remember, we already went over how to breathe and calm your emotions when they feel too strong. We will use those, now. We will move at your pace. Are you ready?" The client pauses and responds that he/she is. "Okay, here we go." At this point, I am not going to impose my ideas on how it would go, necessarily. I can't predict with perfect accuracy and experience with clients has demonstrated that my predictions can be wrong. The reader's guess is as good as mine that the emotional response will not be one of comfort and warmth. However, at the end of the review, I would then say to the client that we are not quite done, yet. I would tell them that they did great and commend them for their courage. Then, I would say that we had only reviewed the memories, but that the subconscious part of him/her was not present. I would open then point to a toggle on the underside of my desk and explain that when I flip the toggle, their subconscious will appear and tell them what all of the memories mean. What the client believes the memories say about themselves. How it affects their worldview, and how it has affected their belief in their own value and self-worth. Personally, I think this is the scariest part, and yet the most important. The memories may be painful, but it's how they changed the person that results in continued pain. Again, with their permission, I flip the toggle and there is the sound of static (or maybe the sound that the Transporter makes on The Starship Enterprise--I don't know), and seated next to them appears their subconscious. At first, it is somewhat surprising. Maybe the subconscious looks just like the client, or maybe not. Maybe it takes the appearance of a wise old Chinese Man sitting lotus style. I can only guess. At that point, the client and subconscious begin to talk and the subconscious speaks to him/her about the "truth" they believe in as a result of their bad experiences--maybe even about the client's own decisions/choices that were affected by the bad experiences. Everything is laid open and naked in its raw and primal form. My guess is that there would be some tears. There might even be some yelling. Denial might occur along with depression, anger, bargaining and finally acceptance. At the end of it, I wonder if the client would feel exhausted, but at peace. Of course, this is just my ramblings while sitting in my office. However, I wonder how we might respond if our subconscious sat down for a while. Would we accept it, or reject it? You can decide, I suppose.

A Place at the Proverbial Therapist Table for Everyone

I recently had an interesting experience that made me reflect on why people choose the mental health field, and how they see people in relation to themselves. In counselor training, we work to help trainees become more self-aware. The purpose is so they do not allow their own biases, personal issues, judgements, etc. to cloud their view of the client's worldview and experiences. It happens at times and is called countertransference. Countertransference is a normal process that we all experience. It can be related to, though not necessarily equal to empathy. Empathy is putting ourselves in other people's situations. Countertransference is when a therapist's personal issues are triggered. A person in the helping field can lose their objectivity and capacity to help when their own countertransference clouds their judgement. Naturally, I see it in myself from time to time. What is interesting is to observe it with students who begin to conceptualize their clients, whether real or role-played, from their own point-of-view. This can be expected when starting out. What can become concerning is when a student or individual is unable or unwilling to look at themselves and begin to modify their perspective to help themselves help others. It may be difficult for them to help people from their point-of-view. However, there are theorists such as Albert Ellis (Rational-emotive behavioral therapy), and Fritz Perls (Gestalt Therapy) who worked from this point-of-view and were very successful. I guess it boils down to therapists finding a theory that fits their world-view. Therefore, even those who are unable and unwilling to change their view, as long as their approach is effective and ethical have a place at the table. This was much more of a reflective article than educational for readers. Maybe someone will find some benefit. Dr. Jamison Law

Captain Picard and His Views on Domestic Violence and Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

Below, you will find a link to a site where you will view a video of Patrick Stewart talking out against Domestic Violence. He speaks eloquently about his own experiences as a child--viewing his father harming his mother. He also speaks about his father who had PTSD and went untreated. I have always had great respect for this man, but my opinion of him has just increased. Check it out! http://www.upworthy.com/a-brave-fan-asks-patrick-stewart-a-question-he-doesnt-usually-get-and-is-given-a-beautiful-answer?g=3

Children Stuck In Between Parents

Over the past several years I have had the opportunity to work with children and teens who are stuck in between their parents. The parents have either gone through and completed a custody and divorce battle or they are still in the thick of it. The one thing I have witnessed as a therapist is how it affects children. It does not matter the reason for the divorce, the children still feel fiercely loyal to both parents. When one parent speaks poorly of the other and vice-versa, it does not create a stronger alliance between child and parent, it creates confusion and existential anxiousness for the child. They can begin to exhibit symptoms of mental health disorders such as isolation, anger and behavioral outbursts, aggression, sadness/melancholy, grades drop, etc. In some cases, there were situations of abuse that resulted in the divorce. This can create even more confusion. An abuser can speak poorly of the survivor and vice-versa. When the situation is already highly emotional, and the environment has been emotionally and possibly verbally unsafe, the added stressors of witnessing parents can increase the pathological problems the child is experiencing. It can affect their psychosocial development (see information on Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development), change the direction of their attachment style (see info by John Bowlby and attachment), and possibly cause the child to feel alienated in the family. All of these sound very negative and damaging, and they can be. There is always, in my mind, a silver lining to struggles. Children can grow up and with or without professional or social help, they can recover and be stronger. Existential crises can lead to resiliency and personal growth (see info on Martin Seligman's theories of Positive Psychology). In the end, I would prefer to see children treated gently when there are battles raging in the family so that they can grow up and decide for themselves what to believe about their parents. As children, they might not be cognitively ready to make those decisions, yet. Just my thoughts on the subject... Dr. Jamison Law

ACA Podcast: Gestalt Therapy

I had a few moments today to listen to a Podcast from the American Counseling Association on Gestalt Therapy. Those of you familiar with Gestalt Therapy approaches most likely remember their graduate studies watching the "Gloria" videos with Fritz Perls demonstrating his interpretation of Gestalt Therapy. The Podcast I listened to was by John Frew, Ph.D. who is a private practitioner who utilizes Gestalt therapy, theory, and methods. The following is a brief review of what I learned. It is in no way endorsed by anyone and I am not endorsing anyone or any organization. I found the information, however, beneficial and helped me to understand the Gestalt approach better. Gestalt therapy and theory is based on wholeism. Wholeism taking into account all parts of the person such as thoughts, feelings, behaviors, dreams, and more. All of the internal person is connected to their environment and individuals are motivated by needs. As a Gestalt therapist, one would look at the most salient issues first (i.e. what sticks out). Gestalt theory is a theory of health and strengths, rather than pathology. It takes a strengths-based approach and believes that people can generally regulate themselves within their own environment. This is called "organismic regulation." If individuals have satisfaction with needs, then they move on to other needs. Awareness is a key concept for treatment. An individual focuses on intrapersonal and interpersonal awareness and if there is an equilibrium with them. If there isn't, then pathological issues can arise and the individual can focus on seeking resolution. This can be done by focusing on the here and now and making creative adjustments. The past does matter in regards to the creative adjustments that individuals made in the past that are no longer functional. At times, individuals buy into the beliefs of others and adopt it as their own. This is called an introject. At times, they must make a new creative adjustment to come to a resolution. Dr. Frew provided a lot of helpful information. If you're a member of the ACA, I would recommend listening to his podcast. Jamison Law

Knowing full well that I should be writing, I have been neglecting my blog. My one reader (my mother) has been missing it, so I thought I'd sign on. Here are some current events in mental health: The Milton Erickson Foundation puts on the Evolution of Psychotherapy conference every few years. It is largest conference of mental health professionals in the world. I for one have not had the opportunity to attend; however, I hear it is quite the place to be. The speakers are usually well-known psychotherapists, counselors, educators, psychiatrists, and physicians from all over the world. Next year, it will be held in Anaheim on December 11th through the 15th. The prices at this point for registration are very low, and considering the people who will be there (Aaron Beck, Martin Seligman, and John Gottman to name a few), the price is phenomenal. Students can volunteer and get a huge discount, as well. I hope to be able to attend next year! Jamison Link: http://www.evolutionofpsychotherapy.com/

Leadership from an Astronaut

I attended the ACA Institute of Leadership Conference in Alexandria, VA. It was one of the most enjoyable conferences I have attended as a professional. The keynote speaker was Mike Mullane, a retired Astronaut with NASA. He gave a great speech on teamwork and leadership fundamentals. Some of them are as follows: 1. Avoid Normalization of Deviance Human tendency is to rationalize shortcuts. This happens due to budget cuts and schedule problems, at times. To avoid it, PLUS everything. Figure out a plan, and PLUS it (that is from Walt Disney, not from Mike Mullane). Deviance can become the norm if you're not careful. The Space Shuttle Challenger's explosion was predictable. The problems with the O Rings were known, but not addressed. The team accepted it due to high schedule and budgetary demands and it resulted in the deaths of seven astronauts and the loss of property. Rather than address the issue and slow things down, they decided to fix the problem on the fly. They began to tolerate a problem that was previously intolerable. In order to avoid normalization of deviance, one must defend against it. Recognize that you are vulnerable. Plan the work and work the plan. Leaders must maintain "best practice." The team must be trained in "best practice." Do periodic "re-sets" which demonstrate the best practices. Also, review past failures. There must be a free-flow of information from those who have experience to those who have less. 2. Responsibility Always be a team member. Don't be a passenger. Your opinion and experience is valuable no matter how much experience you have. Weaknesses can come from position and longevity. Everyone must always have a say. Weakness also comes from the need for acceptance; fear of rejection; fear of the boss, etc. Remember that "One person with courage forms a majority" Andrew Jackson. 3. Courageous Self-leadership Expand your performance envelope and have tenacity. Set goals and do them. For more information on Mike Mullane: see http://www.mikemullane.com/

Disney, Service, Compassion, and other things...

It’s amazing what you learn from the people you are trying to serve. You may approach a task with the idea, like most, that you are an expert at the task, and that you might know best. However, the point of serving is to exercise an empathetic eye and ear to those who are receiving your services. This thought has come to my mind as I have been reading “How to Be Like Walt.” I already wrote a small blarticle (blog+article) about this book, but the further I delve into the author’s information and humor about Walt Disney, the more I see the innovation behind Disney’s approaches to business and human beings. First, the author indicated that Disney was never trying to make money. He loved what he did, he believed in it, and it required money to do it; therefore, it was only a means to an end. We all know who Walt Disney was, and we know that he was no slouch when it came to money, as well. Then, why do we seek after money in trying to serve? It doesn’t make sense. I’ve tried it and I was miserable. I tried it the way others said to do it; the way the universities told me I had to do it; and the way that the “experts” said. I wonder if it is the incorrect way, though. Therefore, these are just my thoughts on some observations I’ve been thinking about. I began my career path as a mental health counselor about 12 years ago. I had spent two years as a volunteer for my church in another country where I served others. My parents paid my way for the experience and I worked hard. During that time, I found that I enjoyed working with people, getting to know them, learning from them, and teaching them. Therefore, when I returned back to the States, I decided to pursue a service-oriented career. I talked at times with my dad and others about opening up a ranch for at-risk youth. The focused activities would include learning how to care for and ride horses, as well as do cattle drives. Other activities would include care for their camp and cabins as an attempt to instill a desire to work hard and to find the joy that work can bring. Alas, it did not happen, but it was the beginning of my pursuits. Now, I have been working as a clinical director for a residential treatment facility for addictions for the past year. It was a great career move and I have spent the past 12 months learning, a lot. During my time there I began doing exit interviews with residents during their last day of treatment. I would ask them a few questions at first, but then narrowed it to one: “If you returned here a year from now, what would you like to see change and what would you like to see remain the same.” Almost always, and I don’t exaggerate this, they would say that they do not want the atmosphere and environment to change. They said that the front-line staff and the therapist staff members worked well together. They treated each other as equals. Most importantly, they felt the compassion that the staff members have for them and the other residents. They felt welcome and a part of a community. They felt on equal ground with the other residents, the line staff, the therapists, the administrators, etc. The residents said that the therapy was good (whatever that means) and that they learned a lot, but the emphasis was on equality and compassion. It makes me wonder if that is a catalyst for change. Is it possible that having compassion for your fellow man is a huge piece of successful change? My guess is yes. There is plenty of evidence to demonstrate such whether its from Christian texts, Buddhist beliefs, or psychological texts by Carl Rogers. Therefore, I would make a few suggestions to those who are in the service-oriented field. 1. Get to know your clients on an individual basis (by clients I mean anyone you serve whether you are a therapist, scout leader, parent, parishioner, or music teacher). 2. Do not be afraid to be human with your clients. Many people see us (therapists, etc.) as being an expert, and therefore, there is a power differential, which can lead to defenses and resistance in clients or ourselves. Don’t forget that you eat, sleep, and that your heart pumps red blood just as your clients. Be a vulnerable human. For more information on vulnerability, see http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html 3. Holistic approaches: Not every client is the same. Be open and willing to help the client from their viewpoint, not yours. At times, yours may have to be the voice of the expert, but most people are an expert at their own lives. If you don’t know how to help a person, ask someone who does. You don’t know everything and you’re not supposed to. Be bendable and ethical. 4. Watch for patterns of behaviors that are indicators of your clients’ needs. They will show you what they need if you just pay attention. 5. Be equal with the people you serve. 6. Have fun with your service. If you don’t know how to live after the manner of happiness, it is hard for others to want to follow you. A. Bandura indicated that people need social models to follow at times. Social models are people with similarities of a others that provide a model or likeness that others can follow. These are just my ideas for now. Until next time.

Dracula is and Addict!

The following link has a creative and innovative adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula as a metaphorical description of alcoholism and drug addiction. I thought that it was a definite "thinking out of the box" description that may have information beneficial to some of our clients. http://robertchapman.blogspot.com/ Jamison